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Sunday, August 31, 2003

Just musing!

Teddy: Spaulding just had me leave my favorite spot—next to Daddy—to help update our journal. Spaulding: And the whole family is here, camped out after watching Smackdown last night. Say, “Hi,” everybody. All: Hi, everybody! Kehehehehehehehe Spaulding: So what do we talk about?! Teddy: There’s always Smackdown! I liked the match between Big Show, The Undertaker and Brock! Spaulding: Yeah, and Mommy was right when she said that The Undertaker was going to win, simply because the championship had been between Kurt Angle, Brock Lesnar and The Big Show for so long now that they needed new blood! Axlerod: Or old blood. Undertaker has been around for a long time now! Lady: I’m upset that they didn’t update us on how Zack is! Teddy: I figure he’s OK if they didn’t tell us otherwise! Dee: I can’t believe we were actually cheering for The Latino Heat! Lady: I think he’s supposed to be a good guy, even if he lies, cheats and steals! You’re not a good guy if you lie, cheat and steal! Dee: Well, compared to Cena, Brock is a good guy! All: kehehehehehehehe Ding: He’s just s dipstick, not as bad as he thinks he is! Dee: He sure gets beat up by a lot of rass’lers! Valentine: But last night, even after he lost, he beat up Eddie Gurerro… Ding: And in front of his homies too! All: kehehehehehehe (It just sounds funny to hear a 5 inch tall Teddy Bear use the word “homies,” even if Eddie uses it all the time!) Teddy: Well, we’ve been relaxing most of the time since we’ve been back from vacation, but now we’re getting a little cabin fever! Lady: Not me! I’m still tired out from our vacation! Kehehehehehehe Teddy: OK, SOME of us are getting a little rammy! Spaulding: Well, you and I got out of the house with Mommy for a little bit the other evening! Teddy: Sometimes when Mommy goes to the mailbox to mail letters, she slips us into her backpack, so we can get some fresh air! Spaulding (whispering loudly): BUT DON’T TELL ANYONE BECAUSE SOME WOULD THINK SHE IS REALLY WEIRD DOING THAT! Teddy: Odd that they would think that’s weird, but not think this is weird! All: kehehehehehehehehehehe Spaulding: While we were out, we snuck out of the backpack through the trap door in the bottom, ran all the way over to our favorite hotdog stand, bought six dozen hotdogs, ran all the way back… Teddy: lugging all those hotdogs…. Spaulding: And got back into the backpack, before Mommy even crossed the street again! Teddy: The hotdog stand is almost a mile away and the mailbox is only a block away! Spaulding: We’re faaaaaassssssssssssssssst! Teddy: beary fast! Ding: And it was the first hotdogs we had since we got back from vacation! Spaulding: Depending on what Daddy is making for dinner, sometimes he makes us some too and other times he makes us hotdogs instead. Lady: And some times we have both—what Mommy and Daddy are having AND hotdogs! Teddy: But it’s getting towards time to have secret outings again at night! Spaulding: Tonight’s a really good night, since Mommy and Daddy will spend most of tomorrow applying for jobs! Teddy: Nothing more boring then reading Want Ads with them and then sitting there while they write up cover letters and send out résumés! All: zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz Spaulding: Problem is that most places are closed on Sunday nights! Teddy: That’s a good thing! We get the whole places to ourselves! All: kehehehehehehe Lady: Let’s go to Dunkin Donuts and learn to make donuts! Dee: They ARE open all night—even tonight! Lady: That doesn’t matter so much with Axlerod’s magical time abilities! Dee: We can go to the zoo and get real close to the bears! Lady: Better use Axlerod’s abilities for that! All: kehehehehehehe Ding: We can go visit the Vet and play baseball in a pro stadium?! Teddy: That sounds like fun! Valentine: We can go down to the Lakes and feed the geese! Teddy: Eeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwww! And step in all that geese poop?! Valentine: Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwww! Axlerod: We could go watch the Jets against the Skins on Monday Night Football?! Spaulding: Yeah, but it’s not until Thursday! Lady: Something wrong with Monday Night Football on Thursday night! All: kehehehehehehehe Teddy: Let’s go to The Philadelphia Art Museum and either play hide n’ seek in the building or in the paintings! Spaulding: Or….go to the Franklin Institute and walk through that heart! Lady (fluttering her eyelashes at Spaulding and speaking in her sexiest voice): Or watch the star lit night in their astronomy section! ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::Spaulding blushes:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: Spaulding: Um, er…ummmm, well, we have a few more hours to decide, so it’s going to take a while to figure out where we will be going, but we’ll figure it out and tell you the next time…sooooooo…. Axlerod: Until next time….

Thursday, August 28, 2003

Vacation--Day 7

Teddy: Wow, what an amazing last day for our vacation! Spaulding: We would have updated our journal sooner, but with all that traveling, all those adventures, packing to come home, the tearful good-byes and getting all the sand off our stuff, we were just really tired! Teddy: Still really tired, and we’ve been home for a couple of days! Spaulding: Well, you had it doubly hard with making Daddy feel better as he went through that drastic change in sleeping patterns! Teddy: Yeah, he’s sick, therefore tired, and sleeping so often messed up his sleeping patterns. He has that job interview this afternoon, so slept different hours yesterday and the day before. I didn’t go to sleep for those five hours that Daddy slept the other evening; therefore, I was up for over 24 hours straight! Beary, beary tired! Spaulding: Thank God, you and Daddy slept really well last night! Teddy: Daddy slept for 6 hours, which is good for him, and I got to sleep for 10 hours! Feeling beary refreshed today! Spaulding: Anyway, back to our vacation adventures! Axlerod, Teddy, Ding and I did go out early to go saltwater fishing… Teddy: We’ve gone freshwater fishing before, but never went out on a big boat, other than our heliplaneship boxcar, to go saltwater fishing! Spaulding: And Lady, Valentine, Dee and Sarah stayed home to go shopping! Teddy: Whew! We were beary lucky that they stayed home considering what happened! They didn’t even get to go shopping, other then grocery shopping! Spaulding: We had invited all of our Internet Teddy Bear buddies to come and visit us, if they wanted to. Teddy: We told them that if we weren’t at the campsite all they had to do was telepath us and we’d come running back! Spaulding: Funny timing for when they telepathed us though! Teddy: We were velcroed into our seats, so the fish couldn’t pull us off the boat easily and we had just started to fish! Ding had just thrown his bait on the hook overboard and the sinker didn’t even let it hit the ocean floor before he got a bite! Spaulding: And what a bite!!! We thought it was a whale shark, Moby Dick, or Bruce from Jaws! Teddy: It yanked him right out of his Velcro and into the water! Spaulding: Being in magical Axlerod time, no one on the boat even knew we were there, so no one could help us! Teddy: But like usual, Axlerod saved the day, by stopping all time but on the three of us! Spaulding: Thankfully, we were in our magical swimsuits! Teddy: Not only do they stop us from getting our stuffing and beans from getting wet, but they also let us breathe under water! Spaulding: I was so scared for my son that I almost burst out crying, but when I remembered that he could still breathe and saw Axlerod freeze time even more, I was so relieved that we immediately jumped into the water after Ding! Teddy: Spaulding was thinking like a father. Only one thing on his mind—save Ding! Axlerod and I were thinking a little more rationally. We knew when we jumped into that water that we would never get back on that beary big people boat! No choice though! We had to save Ding! Luckily, we installed a homing device on out heliplaneship boxcar! As we swam in the water chasing after Ding, I turned on the device and our vehicle started to come out to find us! Spaulding: Since Axlerod had stopped time so quickly, once we got into the water, we could see Ding. He was down pretty deep and hadn’t let go of his fishing pole! Teddy: That’s when we got the telepathic messages! I heard from my favorite gal, Valentine! All of our Internet buddies were coming down and the gals had quickly run to the grocery store to pick up supplies for a huge party! Spaulding: Sarah decided to call it a Bearch Beargo Party, sorta like an old-fashion beach bingo party, but with stuffed animals! Lady started listing all that were coming, but was cut short when she caught what I was thinking, and then all I sensed was panic in her. Fortunately, I telepathed what I was seeing and she knew Ding would be all right! Teddy: We quickly caught up with Ding and Spaulding was about to cut Ding’s line to free him from the fish he caught, but Ding stopped him. He said that if he went through all this trouble to catch a fish, the least that should happen is that he catches the fish! Spaulding: And my mind was also catching telepathic messages from a bunch of stuffed animals, so I knew we needed lots and lots of food for our party! Teddy: Our heliplaneship boxcar arrived right then with one of the spare trailers still attached! Spaulding: We almost cut Ding’s line anyway when we saw the fish! I thought it was a huge ocean leach—beary flat and eyes on the top side of his head. Teddy: It looked like someone really big had stepped hard on it. It was sideways! Spaulding: Thankfully, our beary smart poppa, Axlerod, had seen one of these fish when Mommy and her Daddy had gone fishing in the ocean. He said it wasn’t a leach, but a flounder. Flounders are bottom feeders, so have developed to lie sideways on the ocean floor and both eyes ended up on the top half of their head! Teddy: It was huge too! It was bigger then Spaulding and me together! Spaulding: Even Axlerod hadn’t ever seen one that big before! Teddy: Axlerod told us how to fillet it, giving the inners back to the ocean to feed other fish and we hauled it in our trailer! Spaulding: I don’t know who was prouder—Ding or me! Teddy: Me either but you were both so proud your heads got all puffed up and floated, so you both helped us get back quickly even with the extra weight! Both: kehehehehehe Spaulding: And what a crowd when we did get back! Our Internet friends—Holly, Brownie, Caboose, Mawson, Spence, Ted E. and all the rest had come! Teddy: And Caboose brought his favorite food—grape jam! And Mawson had stopped by Pooh Corner to pick up Winnie the Pooh, his friends and a bunch of honey! Spaulding: And our new neighbor, Dino, brought Raggedy Ann, Grover and the Philly Phanatic! He also brought Mommy and Daddy’s CD/stereo radio boom box with extra batteries! Teddy: And those six dozen bears that Mommy keeps in the basement until she finds homes for them overheard our neighbors talking about the party, so they all came! Spaulding: Even the lifeguards and sheriff from Cape May came during their lunch hour! AND, they brought a dozen cases of hotdogs!!! Teddy: And Edgar the Egret from the bird sanctuary flew up with a bunch of his friends, each carrying a case of NeHis! Spaulding: Sharon, the sheriff, had stopped by Wildwood’s police station to get several barriers to block off a big chunk of the beach for us! Teddy: We were pretty safe from all the people on the beach, since they couldn’t see us, but Sharon wanted us to have free reign on a big section of the beach for our Bearch Beargo Party! Spaulding: Everyone gathered around to inspect Ding’s catch! Even the lifeguards had never seen such a big flounder before! They did, however, know how to cook it over our campfire and there was enough for everyone! Teddy: Dee won at limbo, but, then again, she’s only 5” tall, so had a great advantage! Spaulding: Not to brag or anything…. Both: kehehehehehehe Spaulding: But I won the dance contest! Teddy: The people said that we had a huge advantage dancing without bones in us! And the stuffed animals with short limbs also thought we had an advantage, but since Spaulding has longer limbs then me, he won! Spaulding: And, of course, Teddy won the singing contest with his rendition of the “Theme Song from Enterprise!" Then again, he sings it all the time and I feel so privileged to hear him sing it so often! Teddy: The tug-of-war was a lot quicker then I thought it would be! It was all the stuffed animals against the humans! You would think 200 stuffed animals could beat 15 lifeguards and a sheriff, but, nope! The people won! Spaulding: And we did teach Caboose (aka Ilovegrapejam) to try dipping hotdogs into the jam! We both liked it! Teddy: Mawson won our version of Jeopardy! He’s so smart, I bet he could win the championship game that’s running this week and next week! Spaulding: He’s the best thinker I’ve ever met in a bear! He ponders EVERYTHING until he understands it! Teddy: Brownie won the baking contest! Of course, Brownie made Brownies! Spaulding: And Holly won the scavenger hunt! That black-out she lived through must have sharpened her eyes to see things! Teddy: And you should have seen the size of the sandcastle we all made! Everyone worked on it! Spaulding: Some of it was dripped sand, some was patted sand and some was formed in special containers that the lifeguards had brought especially to make sandcastles! Teddy: By the time we were done, we had covered the entire roped off area we were in! Spaulding: The little stuffed animals could actually go into some of the rooms, since the lifeguards had reinforced the tunnels with Popsicle sticks! Teddy: All summer they have at least one Popsicle per shift and at the end of the summer they always use the sticks to reinforce their one huge sandcastle they make, usually on Labor Day! Spaulding: And since Edgar and his feathered friends are experts at construction work, with all the nests they make during their mating seasons, they were in charge of fixing up the crow’s nests and watch towers of the sandcastle! Teddy: This wasn’t your typical sandcastle! Spaulding: We were sad that our vacation and our party were over, but we did leave that sandcastle to make the people wonder how it got there! Both: kehehehehe Teddy: It took us over an hour just to say good-bye to everyone! Spaulding: Ding tried to talk Sarah into coming home with us, but she loves her Mommy as much as we love ours! Ding, Dino and Sarah hugged and cried together for 15 minutes. We did have to promise them all that we would visit again, and we will! Teddy: It was so sad to go, but we were also excited to go home and stay home for a while. Coming home from vacation every day during vacation helps the homesick feelings, but being with Mommy and Daddy is simple what we were meant to do and we love it so! Spaulding: So, until next time….

Tuesday, August 26, 2003

Vacation--Day 6

Spaulding: With all the excitement and running around we've had during our vacation, Teddy: And now that the weekend folks have gone home... Spaulding: We decided to just relax and hang out at the beach. Teddy: Everyone loves the water, of course. Spaulding: And we got creative in our sand sculpturing today. Teddy: We all love making drip castles! Spaulding: Just in case you had a deprived childhood, to make drip castles, either make a large puddle in the sand, Teddy: Or fill a bucket with 1/3rd sea water and 2/rds sand. Spaulding: then grab some sand right out of that water, Teddy: like you would hold a pinch of salt if you were adding it to something you were cooking... Spaulding: And then hold it over the sand that you want to build the castle on! Teddy: Sorta like fast speed stalactite--or is that stalacmite? Spaulding (shrugging his shoulders): I dunno! ::::::::::::::Both look at Mommy:::::::::::::::::::: Mommy: "Stalactite hold on as tight as they can. Stalacmite try with all their might to reach the top of the cave." Teddy: OK?! Is it stalactite or stalacmite? Mommy: Stalacmite. Teddy: Sorta like a stalacmite. Spaulding: You have to keep redipping the mud, Teddy: And you have to be careful where it drips too, because it's kinda like building blocks--make it slanted and it will fall. Spaulding: We made a beautiful drip castle! Really big!!!! Teddy: Then we got adventurous again and made some sand sculptures! Spaulding: We made our three traditional ones--a doggy, a wabbit and our signature sculpture--a Teddy Bear! Teddy: We made the same three scultures out of snow last winter, but the kids drew pictures of them when we were done. Spaulding: Mommy's brother used to be the head of all the fraternities at his college, when one of the pledges went through the traditional hazing. The pledges had to make graves in the sand on the beach and then climb in. That's all they had to do! Teddy: But a wave hit when one of the pledges was in his hole and it caved it in. The weight of the soaked sand made it impossible for him to get out... Spaulding: And they couldn't dig fast enough to get to him. He sufficated. It was very sad. It stopped fraternity and sorority activity in the state of New Jersey for close to five years. Teddy: Mommy's brother wasn't there and it wasn't part of the hazing for his fraternity, but he still felt guilty about it. Spaulding: The other snow sculture we made last winter was an igloo... Teddy: But since Mommy told us that story, we are very careful to not get into any holes deeper then 1/2 inch. Spaulding: We can make it a whole inch, but the cub and puppy are only five inches high, so we have to be doubly careful with them! Teddy: And, instead of going on the boardwalk AGAIN, we decided to stay home and play games together. Spaulding: The kids like that too! Teddy: Tomorrow we want to go deep sea fishing! Spaulding: The girls are deciding which they rather do--go shopping one last time or join us. Teddy: We'll find out what they decided tomorrow morning. Spaulding: But for now, it's way past Mommy's bedtime, Teddy: And it's time for us to go back to the shore so.... Sppaulding: Until next time...

Sunday, August 24, 2003

Vacation--Day 5

Teddy: Still really crowded at the shore, so, again, we went inland for some local attractions. Spaulding: I remembered Mommy (no, not momma kehehehehehe) talking to Daddy about a place they visited once. It’s named Smithville, and, again, it’s kinda in the middle of south Jersey, but this time leans closer to the shore. Teddy: It’s in the Pine Barrens, which, if you’re from this area, you might have heard of the Jersey Devil from there. Spaulding: I did hear something about this Jersey Devil (not the sports team) once and asked Mommy about him. Teddy: We’re from Philadelphia, but Mommy is from a town in south Jersey, named Woodbury. When she lived there it only had 10,000 people, but now it has grown to be 50,000! Spaulding: Anyway, the way Mommy heard the story was the Jersey Devil was a deformed child, who was locked into his parent’s basement, for fear that if he was ever discovered, he’d be shot. He was loved by his parents, but, he wasn’t quite right and lived pretty much like a wild animal. Teddy: Now, of course, being Internet savvy Teddy Bears, we had to research the story on the Web, and we found quite a different story. Spaulding: Now, if you ever watched the X-files and watched their version, their version doesn’t fit into Mommy’s versions nor the Internet’s version, but even that is told on the web version. Teddy: Even though he’s “just a legend,” he has caused quite a stir in this area, including having policemen and hunters looking for him. It’s a pretty cool story, and if you want to learn more, click here! Spaulding: Anyway, we didn’t go in search of the Jersey Devil, but ended up near where he supposedly lives. Teddy: Legend has it he lives in Leed’s Point, in the Pine Barrens. Spaulding: But, like I said before, we were going to Smithville. Teddy: It’s a cute little tourist trap kinda village of quaint little don’t-need-it, but-want-it-anyway shops! Spaulding: The kids talked us into buying them a cool kite, which we did fly in the dark last night, when the beach wasn’t crowded at all! Teddy: We also flew it last night because it glowed in the dark! Spaulding: And Teddy and I bought Valentine and Lady a little pot with dried flowers in it. Teddy: But the purchase we liked the most was a fifty cent bag of bread pebbles to feed the geese and ducks in the Smithville pond. Spaulding: We thought we weren’t very patient when it came to eating, but compared to those birds, we have the patience of Job! Teddy: Like us, they eat all day, but it looked like they were starved to death the way they pushed it other out of the way to get to the pebble. Spaulding: Strangely, Ding thought he saw something fairly big and green peeking at us from across the pond in the woods, but we just thought he had a “close encounter” with a big leaf! Both: kehehehehehehe Teddy: He’s very small, so to him, “big” could be the size of a maple leaf. Both: kehehehehehehe Spaulding: So, it was time for lunch and we went to the area for picnics and started our fire to roast our hotdogs! Teddy: Ding was a bit on edge. He really thought he saw something, but he also wanted to be very helpful to impress Sarah. Spaulding: He and Sarah have developed a good friendship, and, thankfully, Ding is aware that he is too young for Sarah, so his heart won’t be broken when we go home for good from our vacation. Teddy: He did get up the courage to go into the woods to gather some sticks for our fire. Spaulding: I hate to say this, but, at first when he came running out of the woods screaming that he ran into something “big and green,” I thought he was just trying to get out of doing any work. Teddy: kehehehehehe Betcha changed your mind when the “big and green” thing followed him! Spaulding: kehehehehehe Sure did! Teddy: Well, if you are a people, it wasn’t big at all, although very green! Spaulding: Apparently, being Teddy Bears, he thought we were trustworthy and understanding! Teddy: I was just too scared to move! Both: kehehehehehehe Spaulding: Nice of him to introduce himself right away! Teddy: And beary polite too!!! Spaulding: You guessed it! We came face-to-face with the Jersey Devil! Teddy: Except he’s not a devil, he’s a stuffed, live dinosaur! Spaulding: And he’s not very big, only a couple of inches taller then me! He’s about 18 inches high! Teddy: His story is so sad too! He belonged to a little girl, named Greta, over 200 years ago. Spaulding: Lewis and Clark had just come back from their expedition and brought back that dinosaur skull to Jefferson. It started a little craze. Teddy: Similar to the craze that happened when Theodore Roosevelt came back from his hunting expedition with a bear, but Teddy Bears lasted and stuffed dinosaurs didn’t! Spaulding: During their walk, the Greta accidentally stepped on a rattle snake! Teddy: Good news though! She yelled loud enough to have her Mommy and Daddy come running and they got the poison out of her right away. Spaulding: Don’t ask how—it’s gross!!! Teddy: Dino—that’s his real name, not “Jersey Devil”—heard them say, as they picked up their daughter, that she would be sick, but looked like she’d live! Spaulding: But the sad part is, in their haste to get her home, they forgot to pick up her stuffed dinosaur! Teddy: Stuffed animals are pretty lost without their parents to take care of them! Spaulding: Yeah, we would never have had the ability or guts to go on this vacation on our own, if it weren’t for Mommy and Daddy telling us it’s all right and telling us how to do it! Teddy: Dino laid in that same position all night, hoping that they would remember him and come back for him. Spaulding: The sounds of the woods scared him close to death and he really feared that snake would come back! Teddy: He didn’t move through the next day and night! Spaulding: But hunger won out after the second morning all alone. He finally had to go find something to eat… Teddy: He heard Greta’s parents looking for him, and he went running back to where he was for all that time. Spaulding: He heard them say that she had asked for him the moment she woke up and how guilty they felt for forgetting him! Teddy: But, he did the biggest thing wrong that all stuffed animals fear the most! Spaulding: He got caught running back to that place by Greta’s parents! Teddy: A running, stuffed dinosaur scared them to death! Spaulding: In their fear, he grew in size and was a real dinosaur!!!! Teddy: They ran away from him, thinking he must be a devil! Spaulding: Dino said that from that day on, he had to run away from people because they wanted to shoot him. He also spent all these years eating leaves, except when he’d go around that pond at night to look for those bread pebbles. Teddy: Can you imagine having to eat that junk for 200 years? No friends. Always hiding, and still getting caught every so often! So sad! Spaulding: He was so happy to see us! Teddy: He came out to talk to the same kinds of creatures—living stuffed animals! Spaulding: He was genuinely surprised when we offered him some hotdogs! Teddy: He didn’t come out for some real food! Spaulding: Sure was glad to eat it though! Teddy: He didn’t even know hotdogs had been invented! Spaulding: Sarah wanted to invite him home, because her Mommy really is a little girl, but because she is a little girl, she can’t just take in stray stuffed animals! Her parents have to buy her the ones she gets. Teddy: But, our parents do take in stray stuffed animals! A whole bunch actually! Mommy bought 6 dozen Teddy Bears to cloth in hope of finding people to adopt them. Spaulding: Only 2 have been adopted though. Teddy: We stay though, even when she finds homes for all those other animals. Spaulding: And we’re not the only ones to stay. Teddy: We have neighbors. Spaulding: That’s what we call the stuffed animals and Raggedy Ann downstairs—our neighbors. Teddy: Along with Raggedy Ann, there is Grover and the Philly Phanatic! Ann is the biggest stuffed creature of all us kids! Spaulding: With a Mommy like that, we quickly invited Dino to join us! There are no little children in our house, but Mommy and Daddy obviously have some kid still left in them! Teddy: He cried! Big, big dinosaur tears! Spaulding: And he kept bursting into tears for the rest of the day. Teddy: Tonight we brought him home! Mommy said he can join the “neighbors” downstairs. They are a beary tight, happy family! Spaulding: Dino is still crying, but we know he is happy! Teddy: Wow! No more Jersey Devil sightings! Spaulding: Mommy thinks most of the sightings were imaginary anyway. Dino never left the Pine Barrens but has been seen in Bristol, PA and Woodbury! Teddy: Woodbury’s not in the Pine Barren. Spaulding: According to the news, we were also beary lucky to not stay in Wildwood today. Someone drove their car into a crowd of people in Wildwood Crest, right next to Wildwood. Teddy: Killed one woman and hurt a couple of other people. Spaulding: So sad! Teddy: Don’t know more details yet, but how scary! Spaulding: But its way past our bedtime so we have to go. Teddy: So, until next time…

Saturday, August 23, 2003

Vacation--Day 4

Spaulding: Strange thing about vacations---they’re taken to relax, but you spend so much time running all around! Beary exhausting! Teddy: Beary! So exhausting the rest of our family is in the other room sleeping on Mommy’s bed! Spaulding: Vacationing at the Jersey shore in late August is beary crowded! Teddy: BEARY crowded! Spaulding: But then comes the weekend and it makes the week look isolated! Teddy: If we stayed at the beach we would have been stepped on by someone eventually! Spaulding: Probably more then once! Teddy: We left our stuff at the campsite, and then headed over to Wheaton Village. Wheaton Village is a craft place where they blow glass… Spaulding: since 1888! Teddy: into all sorts of pretty things, like vases, and paperweights and pitchers and plates! Spaulding: It’s in Millville, which is like right in the middle of south Jersey. Teddy: To learn more about it, click here! Spaulding: New Jersey is known for its glassmaking, because most of the state is really just a beary, beary large sand barge… Teddy: And glass is made out of sand! Spaulding: And we went during its summer exhibit of “New Jersey Glass Exhibits.” Teddy: We watched the “gaffer” blow glass and talked to one after the show. Spaulding: And they have other artists there too like a tinsmith, and people who molded clay, … Teddy: And the kids loved the train ride on the half gauged train! Spaulding: Kids? I loved it! The conductor let us drive the train, since he saw our heliplaneship boxcar! Teddy: He figured if we could drive that, we could drive anything! Spaulding: And he was right!!! Both: kehehehehehehe Teddy: Since Wheaton Village is set in the woods, we invited our good friend, Sarah,… Spaulding: This made Ding happy! Both: kehehehehehehe Teddy: to go with us and have a picnic! Spaulding: They have picnic tables there! Teddy: And, because it’s rained so much this month, we were allowed to have a pretend fire! Spaulding: Once we got to talking to the gaffers though, they let us take our hotdogs on the sticks and roast them quickly in the furnace! Teddy: Really quickly! You have to make the fire beary, beary hot to melt glass!!!! Spaulding: So, we didn’t get back to our campsite until late afternoon. Teddy: Plenty of time for a nice long nap before heading to the boardwalk! Spaulding: The kids were a bit bored with the same rides though… Teddy: So we decided to go swimming at night instead! Spaulding: No lifeguards around, but we are Teddy Bears, so don’t swim so far from shore that we can’t touch the bottom! Teddy: We’re so short that we’re only in the water half the time anyway! Both: kehehehehehehe Spaulding: Yeah, we can’t get past where the waves break! Teddy: And since the kids are so much shorter then even we are, they actually think the whole ocean is always fizzling! Both: kehehehehehehe Spaulding: Sounds like we made a good choice in moving upstate a bit from Cape May! Teddy: Yeah! Last night Cape May was the only place in New Jersey to have a thunderstorm! Spaulding: Still. I like watching a thunderstorm! Teddy: Yeah, but I don’t know how waterproof our blankets are, even when they are Scotchgarded! Spaulding: Definitely better to watch them from the safety of our enclosed porch at home! Teddy: Definitely! Spaulding: Well, it’s nap time! Gotta go! Teddy: Until next time…

Friday, August 22, 2003


Spaulding: Forgot to is Mommy's Daddy's birthday! He skipped ten years so is, once again, celebrating his 63rd birthday! Happy Birthday, Bill!

Vacation--Day 3

Teddy: Before we left Cape May for good… Spaulding: Well, for our vacation this year! We’ll come back some day! Teddy: OK! Well, before we left Cape May for this vacation … Ding: Sarah wanted to take us to the bird estuary for a picnic!!!! Teddy: Right, so we got up beary early this morning… Spaulding: Early enough to see the sunrise! Teddy: And it wasn’t red, which is good! Spaulding: “Red sky at night, sailor’s delight. Red sky in the morning, sailors take warning.” Axlerod: That’s an old saying that means if there is a red sunset, it will be fair weather the next day. If it is red in the morning, it will rain that day! Teddy: So even if everyone didn’t get to see a beautiful sunrise, it was good! Valentine: We had to pack for the picnic. Teddy: And you can’t have a campfire, even a pretend one, in a sanctuary, which means…. All: No Hotdogs!!!!!! Lady: But, we know that bologna is really beary wide, cold hot dogs, so we are OK! Valentine: So, Lady, Dee and I made all the bologna sandwiches, … Ding: While Daddy, Grandpa, Uncle Teddy and I packed the NeHis, pies, ice cream, chocolate and snacks. Spaulding: Mommy bought us a little Teddy Bear size picnic basket that she bought at A.C. Moore Craft Store for us! We packed everything in there! Ding: And I waited outside to wait for Sarah! AND, I was the first one to see her!!! All: kehehehehehehehe Teddy: Of course, our first stop was to Rick’s Café! Spaulding: Can’t go on a long hike without coffeecoffeecoffeecoffee!!! Dee: And breakfast! Teddy: Then we decided to start our hike at the dunes. Lady: Then we went over a bunch of wooden bridges that crossed through the swamp! Valentine: It’s called “wetlands” now! Lady: “Wetlands.” Kehehehehehe Anyway, south Jersey is really one big swamp that was built up by pig farmers and then used as dumps and now used as housing developments, but people are smart enough to know to leave alone the swamps by the shore, since high tides, low tides and rains change water levels constantly. Ding: You should see how tall those reeds are! They even make Grandpa look short! :::::::::::::::Spaulding whispers into Ding’s ears::::::::::::::::::::::::: Ding: Wow! Daddy just told me that when he came down here with his Daddy, Grandpa John, even HE looked short compared to those reeds!!!!! Spaulding: And in the middle of this swamp was an island full of trees! Ding: Sarah had us stop there for our picnic! Valentine: We saw birds we didn’t know existed. Living in the city, we only see pigeons, starlings and sparrows, but there were all kinds of sea birds…. Dee: like ducks and geese and swans and red-winged blackbirds… Ding: And Sarah introduced us to Edgar, the Egret! Teddy: And Edgar gave each of us a ride into the air! Spaulding: He flew me for 5 minutes and took me to our campsite all the way up in wildwood and back! Teddy: That’s faster then even our heliplaneship boxcar!!!! Dee: And Ding couldn’t catch the state bird of New Jersey—the mosquito! :::::::::::::::::Spaulding whispers into Dee’s ear:::::::::::::::::::: Dee: Oh, Daddy says it’s a bug, not a bird! But it is almost as big as a hummingbird?! :::::::::::::::::::::Both bears shrug their shoulders::::::::::::::: Ding: I could have caught it, but I didn’t have a leash to make it my pet, so I didn’t ry to catch one for beary long! Spaulding: But all that was after our lunch and our nap! Teddy: Food always makes me sleepy! Spaulding: And after our hike, Sarah took us to one of Mommy and Daddy’s favorite places to go when they come to Cape May—Cape May Point! Teddy: 150 feet off of Sunset Beach at Cape May Point is the remains of a concrete ship from the First World War! They weren’t very practical, because they weighed so much, so they weren’t ever used in the war. Click here for more info! Spaulding: And Mommy likes to collect cool looking pebbles and stones that she finds when our people go on vacation. Cape May Point is the very bottom of New Jersey, where the Atlantic Ocean meets the Delaware Bay, so the beach is just full of cool pebbles! Ding: Some are nice and flat, so we can skip them across the ocean! Daddy and Uncle Teddy taught me how!!! Teddy: And there are a couple of shops where you can buy stuff, including stones, but we decided to collect cool pebbles from the beach to add to Mommy’s collection! Spaulding: She liked them! Lady: We did make it home in time to nap before going out to the boardwalk! Dee: We went on some of the same rides we went on the night before. Ding (beaming with delight): And while Dee rode on the roller coaster, Sarah bought me an ice cream cone!! Teddy: We tried many of the games of chance. Axlerod: Not much of a chance the way we play! Teddy: I won a key chain! Spaulding: Everyone who played that game won, at least, a key chain! Teddy: Yeah?! All: kehehehehehehe Spaulding: But we went home early to watch “Smackdown!” Ding: And Brock Lesnar really is a bad guy! And not the funny kind of bad guy like The Rock is! Dee (sighing wistfully): He’s dreamy! Ding: Who? Brock or The Rock? Dee: Yes! kehehehehehehehe All: kehehehehehehehehe Lady: If I were Zack Gowen’s Mommy, I would have bit Brock on the ankle! Valentine: People don’t bite people. Lady: If Brock is beating up their son like that, they should! Ding: Don’t mess with my Mommy! She’s tough! Dee: I bet she could beat up The Big Show! Spaulding: I know it! Teddy: But Brock and Kurt will meet on Sunday for the Pay-Per-View to find out who wins the championship belt! We’ll have to peek online to find out who beat whom. (For anyone who reads this after Aug. 24, 2003, you can find out what happened by clicking this link.) Spaulding: Well, time to get back to camp. Who wants to say it? Ding: Mememememememe Teddy: You did it last time. It’s Lady’s turn! Lady: Until next time….

Thursday, August 21, 2003

Vacation--Day 2

Spaulding: Our luck! First time we decide to take an extended vacation without Mommy and Daddy, and guess what happens!!!! Teddy: Cape May beaches are closed for 36 hours due to fecal (poop) levels found in the water! How gross! Axlerod: And we didn't find out until AFTER we went swimming!!! Spaulding: Sure! Sure! They tell the people! But do they tell the stuffed animals? Teddy: Noooooooooooooooooooooo! Thankfully, we did have on our magic swimsuits, so we were immune to the potential...potential.... Spaulding: GROSSness?! :::::::::::::::::::::::mega-heave session starts among the stuffed animals:::::::::::::::::::::::::::: Teddy: So, we had to relocate. We've become good friends with Sarah T., so we stayed an extra day at Cape May, without going into the water. Spaulding: Yeah, we would have never even found out, if Sarah didn't tell us! Teddy: She had gone home at dinner time, and found out on her people's TV news! Spaulding: She was nice enough to come running back! Ding (whiskfully): I love the way she runs! All the rest of the animals: kehehehehehehehehe Ding: What? Dee: Ding has a crush! Ding has a crush! ::::::::::::::::::Ding blushes!:::::::::::::::::::::::: Teddy: It's all right, little Guy! Falling in love comes naturally for Teddy Bears--afterall, we were made to love and be loved! :::::::::::::::::::::Ding's blush dissapates.::::::::::::::::::::::::: Spaulding: Anyway, the girls wanted to spend half a day shopping at that outdoor mall that Sarah showed us yesterday! Teddy: And we started off at Rick's cafe' for more coffeecoffeecoffeecoffee! Dee: And breakfast! Lady: And we sure had a lot of fun, didn't we, Valentine? (Interruption, to explain who everyone is, since everyone is here, waiting for Rasslin' tonight! Axlerod, my stuffed bassett hound, is the patriarch of the family--father to Lady, and, therefore, grandfather to Dee and Ding. Lady is a stuffed cocker spaniel and wife to Spaulding. Dee, a stuffed puppy, is Spaulding and Lady's daughter and Ding, a stuffed bear cub, is their son. Teddy, as you know, is Spaulding's brother, and his wife is Valentine, a stuffed bunny rabbit! Now, since Axlerod is Spaulding's father-in-law, in the stuffed animal world, that also makes him related to Teddy and Valentine. They consider Axlerod, and my husband, John, "Daddy." You won't hear much from Axlerod. He's not much of a talker, although he is quick to help out when needed. The rest love to talk!) Valentine: Yes! We bought a couple of huge colbolt-blue glasses (shot glasses) with Cape May motif on them. Perfect for the kids to drink NeHi in! Lady: And we picked some flowers for Mommy, but left them at our camp, when we found out that Mommy and Daddy (John) went out for a ride today to pick their own wild flowers! Valentine: We ddn't know that they weren't going to find enough along the side of the road to bother stopping to pick! Lady: We picked ours the easy way! They were in big pots on people's porches! (Mommy stops typing for a moment to explain to them why they shouldn't have picked those flowers.) Spaulding: Whoopsie! We didn't know they belonged to someone that didn't want us to pick them! People can be so hard to understand! Dee: Daddy and Uncle Teddy showed us where they got their T-shirts from the last time they came to Cape May with their Mommy and Daddy! Ding: It was a huge store called "Cape May Teddy Bear Company" and I've never seen so many Teddy Bears! Blue ones. Green ones! Normal fur colored ones! Dee: Huge ones! Some our size! Bare bears! Dressed up bears! Even some other kinds of stuffed animals! Teddy: And we did stop off to buy some COFFEE for Daddy, cuz he always gives us coffee! Spaulding: But when we telepathically heard that they were going out for the day, we ended up drinking it! Whoops! Teddy: It would have been cold by the time he got it! Valentine: And in the afternoon, we went on a whale watching boat ride! Dee: I sure am glad that Mommy bought the Velcro! Ding: Yeah! It was so windy on the boat ride, the wind would have wooshed us off the boat! Teddy: We never saw any whales, but we did meet Polly, the porpoise! Ding: She was cool! She gave us all rides and was fast enough to get us back to the boat without it ever stopping! Dee: Sure am glad we had our magical bathing suits on! Lady: Me too! I don't know how gross the water was that far away from the beach! Spaulding: We all took a nap on the way back, and still..... Teddy: Still, we were tired from all the activity, so we took another one at our camp site! Ding: It was so cool too! We woke up when Sarah came by with a few dozen hotdogs to cook over our camp fire and a couple of dozen NeHis to drink while we ate! We just didn't want to leave her, but couldn't stay in Cape May after finding out about the water.... Spaulding: Even though the report came out that the water was OK again. Ding: Yeah, so we invited her to come with us as we relocated to Wildwood! Teddy: She's coming with us for the week, but she really started something with that cook-out! Ding: Yeah, she invited all of the lifeguard staff over to join us! Spaulding: Generally speaking, you're not allowed to have fires on the beach in Cape May, but since we are stuffed animals, creatures some people don't believe are real, the lifeguards considered it a pretend fire with pretend food, although they seemed to like it! Dee: And, Link, the lifeguard, gave us a lifeguard T-shirt! Lady: and Sharon, the Cape May Sheriff, gave us her Cape May Sheriff patch!!!! Teddy: After the cook-out, it was time to go up to Wildwood.... Ding: WITH Sarah! Spaulding: But that didn't mean our day was over! Dee: No way! We went to Mauries' Pier, and went on the merry-go-round, and ferris wheel and on a tram car ride (for free, since no one could see us in Axlerod time!) Ding: And the roller coaster, and the hell hole, where they make you spin really fast and then drop the floor away from you! And we went onto the waterslide! Valentine: And again, we sure were glad to have that Velcro on us! Guaranteed we'd have flown out from those rides as light as we are! Teddy: And late in the night, we stopped off for pizza (bet you thought I was going to say hotdogs!) All: kehehehehehehehe Teddy: And NeHis, and Philadelphia Pretzels, and cotton candy, and funnel cake and curly fries with ChezWhiz.... Spaulding: We found a new jetti at high tide, and set up our camp far enough away from the pier to sleep, but close enough to keep going back to it. This one only has one single room, but it is much bigger then our other one! Axlerod: I got lonely without everyone there! Teddy: We all did, so decided to skip the extra room! Lady: But we were all wound up from the day's adventures, so couldn't go to sleep right away. While everyone told about their favorite part of the day.... Valentine: And no one could just pick out one thing.... Lady: Spaulding and I drew a colored pencil picture of the Cape May lighthouse! Dee: It's very pretty! Spaulding: And finally we were all tired enough to go to sleep. Thanks to Axlerod, we slept as long as we wanted, with him freezing time. Teddy: And since today is Rasslin' on TV, we came home early and slept some more while Mommy and Daddy were out on thier adventure! Spaulding: We still want to visit Cape May for a hike around the estuary.... Teddy: And one more trip to Rick's Cafe'! Spaulding: But we will be spending most of the rest of the trip in Wildwood...I think! All: kehehehehehehehe Teddy: OK, who wants to say it? Ding: Memememememe!!! ....until next time....

Wednesday, August 20, 2003

Vacation-- Day 1

Spaulding: We sure took a lot of stuff with us, considering we only have one change of clothes! Teddy: We had to add three more boxes to the back of our heliplaneship boxcar! Spaulding: heli = helicopter; plane = lear jet; ship = hydrofoil yacht (that can also travel on land, but we only use it off-road, since police can't decide if it's legal to drive in or not); and boxcar, is the brand we have--our box is usually a car, but can turn into all of the above! Teddy: We decided that Spaulding flies us down and I fly us back! Now Lady, Valentine and Axlerod are all old enough to drive it, but they are just in the wrong shape/position to steer it! Spaulding: AND, since Mommy and Daddy would worry about us, if we were gone all week... Teddy: And they NEED us... Spaulding: We decided to go down and come back every day, but, using Axlerod's time distorting abilities, we would leave right after Mommy and Daddy go to sleep, slow down time to 1 hour takes 3 hours... Teddy: We decided to go to Cape May, NJ, and while gone, time around us would take three times as long, but for everyone else, it would seem the same length of time! You should see how cool waves are when only moving at 33% speed! Gives us short legged animals time to run up the beach if we don't want to get wet! Spaulding: And then, we'd come home and spend the 16 hours with Mommy and Daddy, while they're awake! Teddy: So, we were lucky enough to get there at high tide... Spaulding: So we knew where to set up camp! Teddy: and we picked a spot at the landside of a jetti, used Mommy's scotchgard to make our blankets weather-proof... Spaulding: and draped them over the rocks, so we had two rooms underneath! Teddy: Yeah, there was the main room, which was a large crevice in the rock jetti, and, if you climbed up a little rock, there was a side room just big enough for two stuffed animals to sleep in! Spaulding: Since Teddy and Valentine and Lady and I all got married last Easter, we are all still honeymooners, and were happy to split nights in the spare room to be alone for a little while! Teddy: And, because Axlerod is soooooooooo OLD (just turned 39 on August 2nd), it doesn't seem fair to stick him with the kids all the time, so we also give him a night by himself in that room! Spaulding: And, because our cub and puppy want to have a pajama party, they get the room one night too. So it works out that Valentine and Teddy get the room twice, Lady and I get the room twice, Axlerod gets the room twice, and the young'ns get it once! Teddy: Whew! So we finally organized everything, got to sleep for the night, and quick as you please... Spaulding: or slow as you please, since we slowed down time! All: kehehehehehe Spaulding: Oh wait! Forgot to mention! Dee, my daughter, is with us today! Say "Hi," Dee! Dee: Hi, Dee! All: kehehehehehehe Teddy: anyway, SLOW as we please, it was morning of our first full day of vacation! Loved walking out of our little camp onto the warm sand, watching the ocean! Dee: Yeah, I could hear the waves crashing the night before and it lulled me to sleep! Spaulding: Lulled us all to sleep! Teddy: What's cool about our time distorted vacation, is that since we aren't in sinc with people, no one could see us, unless we stayed still for a long time! Dee: Might be cool to you, but I found a problem with that! Spaulding: Let's not get ahead of ourselves! Teddy: so, as we all watched the waves, our brains suddenly woke us up with an important thought--COFFEE!!!!! Spaulding: we HAD to HAVE our morning cups of coffeecoffeecoffeecoffee! Teddy: BUT, we didn't know where we could get some! Dee: Ding solved that one! Spaulding, Yes, he did! Ding is my son! Dee: We could see the blurs of people all up and down the beach, but coming to us, in the same time speed as us, was a lady Teddy Bear! Ding saw her first! Teddy: Our girls loved her sun dress too! Her name was Sarah T. Bear! She lives in Cape May, year round, so knew her way around! Spaulding: She was kind enough to take us to Cape May's outdoor mall, and showed us Rick's Cafe'... Teddy: which is where we got our coffeecoffeecoffeecoffee!!!!!! Dee: and breakfast! Spaulding: and breakfast! Now our girls got to liking Sarah quite a bit! Teddy: She was quite the looker, although, being married to the two most gorgeous stuffed animals in the world, we just like Sarah, not gawked at her! Dee: Yeah, Ding did the gawking! kehehehehehehe All: kehehehehehehehehe Spaulding: The girls decided to make a day of checking out the mall later on, but for now, we wanted to do what you're supposed to do at the shore--- Dee: Go swimming in the ocean and make sand castles!!!!!! Teddy: For stuffed animals with beans in their bodies, we did need our magical swimming suits on! Spaulding: Can you imagine how big the beans would blow up in SALT water?! Dee: Ding and I would try to jump over the incoming waves, but we knew our real desire was to not make it and get all wet! Daddy and Uncle Teddy would hold our paws and pick us up so high to get us over the waves! Teddy: until we intentionally didn't do it one time! All: kehehehehehe Dee: and then, after we dried off a little bit on our towel, we decided to make a sand castle! Daddy said grnadma (Daddy's and Unlcle Teddy's Mommy) taught him how to make drip sand castles and he showed me, but our castle was part drip, part packed sand! It was so big, Ding and I had to climb real high to get to the top! If we could have hollowed out the inside, we could have camped in it!!! Spaulding: But, when the tide comes in, it destroys the castle, so it wasn't a good idea! Dee: Yeah, but it was fun watching the tide destroy it!!! Spaulding: In the late afternoon, we were all doing what Teddy Bears do so well....taking a nap on our blanket! Dee: That's when the scary thing happened! Teddy: It was kind of scary, but not terrifying. More surprising then terrifying! Dee: That's true, but it took me by surprised and I didn't like it at all! Spaulding: OK, so now you can tell! Dee: I might be a puppy, but having so many Teddy Bears in the family, I KNOW how to nap really well! I was dreaming of foamy waves, and Sarah and sand castles, when suddenly my sandcastle caved in on me and filled me full of sand! That's when I woke up and found myself being covered with sand, but I KNEW I wasn't really in the sandcastle, so I thought somehow I ended up in a sandy avalanche! I screamed out for help, and Daddy grabbed me quickly and pulled me out of the sand! I went crying to my Mommy, sweeping sand off of my fur, as Daddy and Uncle Teddy looked around to see what had caused it! You tell what happened next, Daddy! Spaulding: Since time is altered, and people can't see us, we have trouble seeing people easily, if we squint our eyes, we can see the people. Passing by was a man and his dog on a leash! Apparently, they only saw an empty blanket, but we were on it! The dog was running so fast that the man accidentally kicked up sand onto our blanket and it hit Dee full on! Teddy: But no one hurts our little Dee without being punished! Axlerod sprang into action and totally froze time so we could get to the man and his dog! Spaulding: With Axlerod bravely being the bottom of our stuffed animal chain, I climbed on top of Axlerod.... Teddy: and I climbed on top of Spaulding to get the leash out of the man's hand, and take off the collar from the dog! Dee: I am a doggy too, but Daddy says that dog and the dogs in our family are different species, like the difference between a panda bear and Daddy! Spaulding: we put the collar around the man's neck and the handle of the leash around the dog's running front leg! Teddy: and then we got far enough away to watch, but not get the results all over us! Dee: kehehehehehe THEN, Grandpa Axlerod let time go into regular speed for a brief moment! Teddy: Yeah, and since the dog was running, when time started again, the handle of the leash tripped him, spilling him into the sand ... Spaulding: AND, since the dog fell down, it yanked the collar forward, and made the man fall down, almost on top of his dog! All: kehehehehehehehe Dee: Grandpa Axlerod let time go normal for a couple of more seconds so we could watch the reaction of all the people watching this man with a dog's collar on, trying to figure out what happened! All: kehehehehehehehe Spaulding: No one messes with my little Dee!!!! Teddy: Back home for the day, Daddy is helping us put together our pictures we took of our vacation so far! Too bad there isn't enough room on Spaulding's web page to put them all, but Daddy has set them up as a PowerPoint program and is using them for screen savers on his computer! Spaulding: We can wacth all the pictures while Mommy helps us write this on her computer! :::::::::::::::::::group yawn::::::::::::::::::::::::: Teddy: Well, we need some sleep before going back tonight! You say it Dee! Dee: Until next time....

Tuesday, August 19, 2003

New Friends and other stuff

Spaulding: While looking for web sites for other people, Mommy found some important ones for us! Teddy: We've met many other Teddy Bears with their own web sites and having adventures like we do! Even met a teddy named after ME--Ted E.! Spaulding: Wellllllllll, that could have been a coincidence! Or maybe you were both named for the same reason--your parents got to know you and talked to you before giving you a name, so took our given middle name as your full name! ::::::::::::::scratching his head, thinking deeply......falling asleep::::::::::::::::::::: Spaulding: TED! Teddy: Whoops! Thought too hard! Well, maybe! But, I am so famous, he might have been named after me! Spaulding: That's true! Well, it's cool enough that I added the link to our first new friend, Mawson, on my web page. And, when we're done here.... Teddy: Thanks for typing for us, Mommy! Spelling and typing are so hard on our paws and minds! Spaulding: Yeah, thank you, Mommy. Anyway, and when we're done here, I'll add Ted E.'s! Teddy: Before we were born... Spaulding: Hold on, explanation time! "Before we were born" to us means "right before we were born," and describes all things that happen right before we were born, from the invention of the wheel, to the 1999 baseball season ending. Teddy: Yeah, for me, it even means missing the destruction of the World Trade Center! But right before we were born, Mommy says that she had her own business right in this very house! She used to type for other people and got paid for it!!!! Spaulding: Got paid for it? Can you imagine having to pay Mommy for typing this?! !~ no way1<-------------(side note from Mommy: that's Teddy typing for himself! He tried to type: "Give up our own money! No way!" However, being a teddy bear with paws and no fingers, it's close to impossible to type by yourself! On the other hand--no pun intended, but enjoyed nonetheless--our Teddy Bears work hard for us! They keep us company and give us hugs as needed. We have a good understanding! They work hard, and in return, sometimes they can have a little money and always they can have our love and help! Now back to blushing Spaulding and Teddy) Teddy and Spaulding: kehehehehehehehe Teddy: Anyway, Mommy and Daddy finding jobs scares me! Spaulding: Me too! Teddy: Jobs means leaving the house! Means we are alllll alone! Spaulding: I remember when Daddy used to go to work! He used to be gone ALL day! We missed him! You were born right at the end of that! Teddy: Yeah! I remember, but I was so young that I didn't understand what was going on! Can't remember it too well! Don't like the idea now! :::::::::::::::::Mommy talks to the little fellows::::::::::::::::: Teddy: Oh! OK! Mommy says that she can't go out to work, so we won't be all alone and that Daddy does come home every evening. Spaulding: And she says "jobs" is how people make money to buy important things like coffeecoffeecoffeecoffee and ... Both: HOTDOGS! Teddy: Jobs is cool, even though I still prefer it to stay like this! Spaulding: Me too! Teddy: But that's why we couldn't come on yesterday, Mommy was looking for one. Spaulding: And meeting up with our new friends and exploring their web sites has given us little time to go for adventures! Teddy: BUT, summer is almost over and we have two little cubs to consider (OK, so a puppy and a cub!), so we're going on a week long--Axlerod-distorting-time week--vacation! Spaulding: We'd take Mommy and Daddy, but they have to look for jobs and HATE the shore in the summertime, so we will go without them even noticing we were gone---by going in Axlerod time! (Axlerod time, in case we haven't explained it yet, can be stopped time, or slowed down time or speeded up time, magically created just for stuffed animals by Mommy's childhood stuffed basset hound, Axlerod. One in eight stuffed animals have this magical ability, and thankfully for us, Axlerod is one of those special stuffed animals. This gives us the ability to go anywhere and do whatever we want without Mommy and Daddy ever noticing we are gone!) (Teddy had to go help Daddy, but he said I could finish this up by myself!) Spaulding: Anyway, with Mommy being busy and with being very tired from all our adventures, we're not sure how long it will be before we can tell about our adventures, but we will try to keep up with this Blog! Until then...

Sunday, August 17, 2003

Why, Brock, why?

Spaulding: OK, so this is supposed to be a journal for our traveling adventures, BUT, we don't travel every single night! Teddy: Yeah, we do watch the tube! Our "must see TV" is Jeopardy! (which we win most the time) and Smackdown, World Wrestling Entertainment's night for people like The Big Show, Kurt Angle, Chris Benoit, ... Spaulding: Don't forget Spanky, The Undertaker and Brock Lesner, although we are confused about Brock now! Teddy: Maybe we should back up a little for those who don't watch RASSLIN'! Spaulding: There are people who don't watch it? How can that be? Teddy: You know! Some people are just plain weird! They actually think RASSLIN' isn't real, or its violent, or ...well, all sorts of silly thhings, but we know it's IMPORTANT! Spaulding: Welllll, at least important if you're a stuffed animal. kehehehehehe Teddy: kehehehehehehe Anyway, for those reading this, but have never actually watched RASSLIN', check out their web site. It's cool! Click here! Spaulding: Don't forget to come back!!!! Teddy: Anyway, Brock Lesnar is this young guy (OK, so old compared to us, but young if you are human), who won the World Federation Rasslin' (OK, so technically it's "Wrestling," but even we know the huge difference between Wrestling and RASSLIN', and face it Rasslin's more fun! kehehehehe) Championship-- Spaulding: Youngest guy to do that in the WWE! Teddy: Now, back in the olden days, before we were born, when Mommy and Daddy used to watch Rasslin', good guys were good guys and bad guys cheated, stole and lied. Nowadays, everyone lies, cheats and steals, not just the Latino Heat! Still, there are subtle little differeneces between the good guys and bad guys, and, for a while, Brock Lesner was a good guy and friends with Kurt Angle, who was a good guy, then a bad guy, and now back to a good guy. Spaulding: But, since it's important to what we want to write about, we have to mention that the two of them didn't become friends until Kurt Angle hurt his neck while trying to keep the championship belt from Brock, and Brock would visit him in the hospital all the time! (That's also when Brock won the belt back.) Teddy: Very important to say, especially since what we want to talk about has all developed in the last 3-4 weeks. Now, ever since Kurt has been back from his magical neck surgery that was done so well by doctors that he doesn't even have any scars on his neck, he and Brock have been very good firends, even though both of them are very competative and want the championship belt! Spaulding: Yeah, but Vince McMahon has been trying to put a wedge between them by constantly telling one or the other that the other one was meeting with Vince McMahon behind the other's back... Ding: Don't forget to tell that Vince McMahon is the CEO of WWE AND rassles himself! Spaulding: And, also, gotta mention that that was my smart son, Ding adding his two cents to the story. Say "Hi" to everyone, Ding! Ding: "Hi to everyone, Ding!" kehehehehehe Spaulding: Yup, that's MY boy! kehehehehe Teddy: Yup, the same smart alex as his Dad! kehehehehe Spaulding: The same smart alex as everyone in this family. All: kehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe Teddy: Anyway, it seemed that Vince's plan wasn't working until he made a match between Brock and Kurt against their arch-nemisis--Big Show! Spaulding: Yeah, it was a tag team match, but I don't remember if Big Show had a teammate or not! Teddy: Me either, but at the end it was Brock giving Big Show his famous F5, then Brock stumbled back into the same corner as Kurt, and it may or may not have been a tag. Spaulding: No matter what, Kurt came in and did cover up Big Show for the 3 count! Teddy: And, BOY OH BOY, did that tick off Brock! He ended up F5ing Kurt too! Spaulding: Yeah, but the next week, Kurt was trying to find Brock to settle their differences! Teddy: Why he didn't bother trying to do that somewhere during the week is a mystery to us... Spaulding: Geesh! Stop trying to sound so logical! You sound just like Mommy! This is RASSLIN' not UN treaties. All: kehehehehehehehe Teddy: And then Brock set up a match between himself and Vince McMahon, before he could have his championship match with Kurt! Spaulding: Yeah, and strangely, Mr. McMahon wanted it to be a cage match! Teddy: But, at first Kurt couldn't find Brock! Spaulding: But when he did find him, he still couldn't talk to him! Teddy: Yeah! Looked like someone knocked Brock out with a steel bar! Spaulding: Yeah, I thought The FBI (Full-Blooded Italians) did it, since they were right there. Teddy: And Vince thought it was Kurt! Spaulding: But you could tell by Kurt's expression that it wasn't him! Teddy: Anyway, Brock finally woke up and decided to fight Vince anyway! Ding: You forgot to mention that Kurt Angle was the special referee for the match! Spaulding: Yeah, and that is importan to know! Teddy: So, at first Brock is obviously winning, but as he lifts Vince up for his F5 move, he passes out! Spaulding: And Kurt is trying to get medical help while Vince is trying to convince Kurt to give Vince the 3 count while he's on Brock! Teddy: BUT, while Kurt is looking away from Brock at Vince McMahon, Brock jumps up, grabs Kurt and F5's him! Spaulding: And THEN he rams him into the steel chain fence, again and again and again! Ding: Blood everwhere! Oh, the humanity!!!!! All: kehehehehehe (Yeah, we know, deep inside that this is just fun and games, not real, but refuse to admit that out loud! kehehehehehehe) Teddy: And when it was over, Vince and Brock look at each other, smile their evil smiles and Vince gives Brock Kurt's belt as they gloat over Kurt's bloody body! All: Why, Brock, why? Spaulding: And last night, Vince had Brock come out and tell everyone why! Teddy: Can't quote exactly, but Brock said something like, "A famous man once said, 'a friend is a friend only for as long as you need him!' I needed Kurt as a friend until he stole my belt away from me, and have been plotting to win it back ever since." Spaulding: BUT, we ain't stupid! We remember you and Kurt hated each other until you sent Kurt to the hospital! Then, and only then, you two became friends! Teddy: Yeah, we've watched your friendship develop over the last couple of months! What you said made no sense! Spaulding: Granted, to enjoy Rasslin' we must suspend reality for a while-- Teddy: And THIS is being said by Teddy bears. kehehehehehehe Spaulding: BUT, be consistent in this fantasy/reality! Your answer makes no sense, so we all have to ask, once again... All: Why, Brock, why? Teddy: Until next time....

Saturday, August 16, 2003

The Blackout that wasn't!

Spaulding: We have other Teddy Bear friends on the Internet! Two of them are Brownie and Holly! Teddy: Yeah, they live in that blackout area and were quite startled by it! Spaulding: Yeah, but they did what any good Teddy Bear would do! They took good care of their Daddy during the blackout! Teddy: Yeah, but it's really wierd! Holly and Brownie's Daddy actually goes out of the house often! Isn't that wierd? Spaulding: No, actually our parents are weird. Most grown up humans have to go to work, and when they aren't working, they have to run errands, and then spend time with their friends playing out of the house. Teddy: Wow, then our parents are weirder then I thought. kehehehehehehe Spaulding: kehehehehehe Teddy: I know Mommy is "disabled," whatever that means, and Daddy is sick. I'm gonna miss him when he goes back to work! Spaulding: Be glad you will! You were brought into this family, so Mommy could dress you up like Daddy, and then you were supposed to sit on his desk at work quietly forever! Teddy: Whew! That's scary! Can you imagine me QUIET?! kehehehehehe Spaulding: NO! kehehehehe Spaulding: Anyway, we live in Philly, and were supposed to get that blackout too, but... Teddy: But our utility company noticed the spike on the grid and quickly switched us over to another way of getting the electricity to us! Spaulding: Yeah, I'm impressed! That blackout took merely 9 seconds to happen and their quick action saved us from being really, really HOT for many hours! Teddy: Yeah, but we are luckier then most! We have our own little TV that uses batteries, and actually have batteries for it from that little blackout we had a month ago! Spaulding: We would have let Mommy and Daddy watch it with us! Teddy: unh, huh! And Mommy has all those pretty smelling candles around, and a laptop, so she could still play on her computer for an hour! Spaulding: Yeah! And, unlike NYC, most people in Philly live in 1-4 story high buildings! There are some high rise apartments in Center City, but they cost so much that the only people who live in them would have already been home from work at 4 p.m., or don't have to work! Teddy: Yeah, and since Mommy has those pretty smelling candles, if we're in a blackout we can still eat HOTDOGS! And, since the stove is gas, we could still drink coffeecoffeecoffeecoffee!!!!! Spaulding: But poor Mommy! She would be reduced to drinking HOT diet decaf Pepsi after a few hours! Teddy and Spaulding: eeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!! Teddy: Do you mean...:::::::::gasp:::::::::::we would have to drink hot NeHis too? :::::::::::::::::::::::::::interruption::::::::::::::::::::::: Spaulding: Whew! Mommy just told us that they would stick all their frozen food into a cooler, never to open it until the electricity is back AND would run over to the store on the next block for ice to keep soda cool for the night! We would survive for a night anyway! Teddy: Wow! Mommy "running?" Can she even DO that? She keeps saying that she has two speeds: slow and reverse! kehehehehe Can't picture her running for anything! kehehehehe Spaulding: kehehehehehe Teddy: Makes you wonder how Holly and Brownie survived! Wonder what they did? Spaulding: Remember when we went into the Sauret painting with them? Played hide n' seek around all those little giggling dots? It was nice and cool there! Maybe they took their Daddy with them to play in that painting?! Teddy: Or, better yet, take him into Ansel Adams' photo of Yosmite Park waterfalls and stay really cold in that glacier driven waterfall! Spaulding: We're very resourceful! Too bad all those hot people in that blackout can't be like Teddy Bears! Teddy and Spaulding: To all those whose lights have come back on--welcome back to the beautiful world of electrical convience! And, thanks again, Mr. Carrier, for inventing AIR CONDITIONING!!!! Teddy: Well, RASSLIN's on tonight, so we have to go rest up! Spaulding: Oh, wait, before we go, I found out how to work that hyperlinky thingy, so here's my web page link (I hope)! Click here! (Thank you, Blogger support staff, for helping us learn how! Just hope we understood! kehehehehehe Spaulding and Teddy: Until next time....

Friday, August 15, 2003

The Adventures of Spaulding, Uncle Teddy and family!

Spaulding: Hi, my name is Spaulding.... Teddy: And I'm Uncle Teddy, but everyone calls me Teddy.... Spaulding and Teddy: and we are Teddy Bears who like coming on the Internet and having lots of adventures. Spaulding: We want to tell you a little bit about ourselves, and even send you to our web site to see what we look like and where else we go online. ( Teddy: Well, if you go to our web page (actually, it's Spaulding's web page--why is that?)... Spaulding: Because Mommy said I could make my own page. Hey, you're on it often. Not like I'm hiding you and everyone else. You're my main stuffed buddy! Teddy: Oh, OK, that sounds cool! kehehehehehe Anyway, where was I? Oh, yeah, if you go to our web page, you do find out who we are, so we might as well get down to why we are here. Spaulding: We have many adventures away from our parents. You see, stuffed animals have their secret lives, as well as their lives around people. We don't look very lively around people, but, if you look carefully, that dead-pan expression says quite a lot! Teddy: Yeah, yeah, yeah! It does and... Valentine: Do I ever get to say anything? Teddy: You just did! kehehehehehehe Oh, sorry, forgot to introduce you! This is Valentine, my beautiful :::::::::::Valentine's face turns red::::::::::: Valentine: Stop telling everyone when I blush, Spauld! kehehehehehehehe Teddy: my BEAUTIFUL fluffy, singing bunny wabbit bride! Valentine: Hi, bunny! Hop along with me! boingboingboingboingboing Happy Springtime!!!! boingboingboingboingboing Teddy: She actually talks out loud and says that! She's the only one of us with a little voice box in her! ::::::::::::Mr. and Mrs. Teddy Bear beam a huge proud smile!::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: Spaulding: ANYWAY! We DO have a secret life. One out of eight stuffed animals are born with a special magical ability. They can slow down, speed up or stop time! This gives them, and all the stuffed animals around them, plenty of time to go out and have adventures without ever being caught and experimented on by human beings! (Our biggest fear is for people to find out that we are very much alive! If they do, some of the meaner people will cut us open and see our fluff! errrrrr :::::::::shivering:::::::: SCARY!) In our case, Axlerod.... Spaulding, Teddy and Valentine: Mommy's stuffed bassett hound from when she was little..... Spaulding: and my wife's father. (My wife is Lady, a beautiful stuffed cocker spaniel kinda doggy.) Axlerod is the one with these magical abilities, so we all enjoy the advantage of having him in our family. Teddy: Yeah, so we wanted to share some of our adventures and Mommy gave us this Blog to do whatever we want with! We've decided.... Valentine: We've ALL decided, Spaulding, Teddy, me, Lady, Axlerod and Spauld and Lady's two young'ns, Dee and Ding, have decided--- Teddy: :::::grabs a quick smooch from Val:::: Valentine: Yeesh! Spaulding, do you HAVE to tell everything we do? kehehehehehehehehe Teddy: anyway, we decided to keep a journal of some of our adventures on this blog, and maybe tell a little bit about us along the way. Spaulding: Yes, and because Mommy can't type for us all the time and help us out, it won't be every day, although we usually have adventures every day. You see, we have a couple of little problems: Mommy has a life apart from us---hard to believe, but true--- AND well, stuffed animals generally have ample tummies for a reason.... Teddy: Yeah! We like to eat---a lot---- Valentine, Teddy and Spaulding: Yeah! HOTDOGS! With EVERYTHING on them! But only 6-9 a meal---WITH canollis, AND coffeecoffeecoffeecoffee (Starbucks and Dunkin Donuts are the best!) WITH biscottis to dunk in our coffee.... Valentine: UNLESS... Valentine, Teddy and Spaulding: UNLESS we have Tastykake pies, or muffins or something else to dunk in our coffee! Spaulding: ::::::looking at Teddy:::::::::::::: and we also looooooooooooooovvvvvvvvveeeeeeee to eat Wabbbbbi- Teddy: NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! We don't eat that anymore! :::::lookng embarrassingly at Valentine::::: Valentine: (innocently) eat what? Spaulding and Teddy: nothing! :::::::Spaulding muffles a giggle:::::::::::::::: (secret spot where Valentine can't see----Spaulding in a hushed voice---we used to eat certain kinds of meat too, but can't anymore, or it would be like cannibalism to Teddy's beautiful wife! ;) ) Teddy: (eager to move on) ANYWAY....we can't keep having adventures, or it cuts into our eating time! AND.... Spaulding: AND we also have to watch rasslin' with Big Show, and Brock Lesner (I hope he isn't becoming a bad guy again) and Kurt Angle, who just became a good guy again, and the rest of those really big guys. Teddy: Big, but we could take them on....remember the power of tickle tickle tickle! kehehehehehehehe Spaulding: ANYWAY, it's close to dinner time AND we have to rest up tonight because rasslin's on late tomorrow night! 10 p.m. Way past a Teddy Bear's bedtime! kehehehehehehe (We have most of our adventures in the middle of the night, so not like we usually SLEEP at night or anything!) Teddy: But, we gotta we will start journaling and letting you get to know us in a couple of days or so! Spaulding, Teddy and Valentine: Until well, and eat lots and lots of HOTDOGS!