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Sunday, August 17, 2003

Why, Brock, why?

Spaulding: OK, so this is supposed to be a journal for our traveling adventures, BUT, we don't travel every single night! Teddy: Yeah, we do watch the tube! Our "must see TV" is Jeopardy! (which we win most the time) and Smackdown, World Wrestling Entertainment's night for people like The Big Show, Kurt Angle, Chris Benoit, ... Spaulding: Don't forget Spanky, The Undertaker and Brock Lesner, although we are confused about Brock now! Teddy: Maybe we should back up a little for those who don't watch RASSLIN'! Spaulding: There are people who don't watch it? How can that be? Teddy: You know! Some people are just plain weird! They actually think RASSLIN' isn't real, or its violent, or ...well, all sorts of silly thhings, but we know it's IMPORTANT! Spaulding: Welllll, at least important if you're a stuffed animal. kehehehehehe Teddy: kehehehehehehe Anyway, for those reading this, but have never actually watched RASSLIN', check out their web site. It's cool! Click here! WWW.WWE.com Spaulding: Don't forget to come back!!!! Teddy: Anyway, Brock Lesnar is this young guy (OK, so old compared to us, but young if you are human), who won the World Federation Rasslin' (OK, so technically it's "Wrestling," but even we know the huge difference between Wrestling and RASSLIN', and face it Rasslin's more fun! kehehehehe) Championship-- Spaulding: Youngest guy to do that in the WWE! Teddy: Now, back in the olden days, before we were born, when Mommy and Daddy used to watch Rasslin', good guys were good guys and bad guys cheated, stole and lied. Nowadays, everyone lies, cheats and steals, not just the Latino Heat! Still, there are subtle little differeneces between the good guys and bad guys, and, for a while, Brock Lesner was a good guy and friends with Kurt Angle, who was a good guy, then a bad guy, and now back to a good guy. Spaulding: But, since it's important to what we want to write about, we have to mention that the two of them didn't become friends until Kurt Angle hurt his neck while trying to keep the championship belt from Brock, and Brock would visit him in the hospital all the time! (That's also when Brock won the belt back.) Teddy: Very important to say, especially since what we want to talk about has all developed in the last 3-4 weeks. Now, ever since Kurt has been back from his magical neck surgery that was done so well by doctors that he doesn't even have any scars on his neck, he and Brock have been very good firends, even though both of them are very competative and want the championship belt! Spaulding: Yeah, but Vince McMahon has been trying to put a wedge between them by constantly telling one or the other that the other one was meeting with Vince McMahon behind the other's back... Ding: Don't forget to tell that Vince McMahon is the CEO of WWE AND rassles himself! Spaulding: And, also, gotta mention that that was my smart son, Ding adding his two cents to the story. Say "Hi" to everyone, Ding! Ding: "Hi to everyone, Ding!" kehehehehehe Spaulding: Yup, that's MY boy! kehehehehe Teddy: Yup, the same smart alex as his Dad! kehehehehe Spaulding: The same smart alex as everyone in this family. All: kehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe Teddy: Anyway, it seemed that Vince's plan wasn't working until he made a match between Brock and Kurt against their arch-nemisis--Big Show! Spaulding: Yeah, it was a tag team match, but I don't remember if Big Show had a teammate or not! Teddy: Me either, but at the end it was Brock giving Big Show his famous F5, then Brock stumbled back into the same corner as Kurt, and it may or may not have been a tag. Spaulding: No matter what, Kurt came in and did cover up Big Show for the 3 count! Teddy: And, BOY OH BOY, did that tick off Brock! He ended up F5ing Kurt too! Spaulding: Yeah, but the next week, Kurt was trying to find Brock to settle their differences! Teddy: Why he didn't bother trying to do that somewhere during the week is a mystery to us... Spaulding: Geesh! Stop trying to sound so logical! You sound just like Mommy! This is RASSLIN' not UN treaties. All: kehehehehehehehe Teddy: And then Brock set up a match between himself and Vince McMahon, before he could have his championship match with Kurt! Spaulding: Yeah, and strangely, Mr. McMahon wanted it to be a cage match! Teddy: But, at first Kurt couldn't find Brock! Spaulding: But when he did find him, he still couldn't talk to him! Teddy: Yeah! Looked like someone knocked Brock out with a steel bar! Spaulding: Yeah, I thought The FBI (Full-Blooded Italians) did it, since they were right there. Teddy: And Vince thought it was Kurt! Spaulding: But you could tell by Kurt's expression that it wasn't him! Teddy: Anyway, Brock finally woke up and decided to fight Vince anyway! Ding: You forgot to mention that Kurt Angle was the special referee for the match! Spaulding: Yeah, and that is importan to know! Teddy: So, at first Brock is obviously winning, but as he lifts Vince up for his F5 move, he passes out! Spaulding: And Kurt is trying to get medical help while Vince is trying to convince Kurt to give Vince the 3 count while he's on Brock! Teddy: BUT, while Kurt is looking away from Brock at Vince McMahon, Brock jumps up, grabs Kurt and F5's him! Spaulding: And THEN he rams him into the steel chain fence, again and again and again! Ding: Blood everwhere! Oh, the humanity!!!!! All: kehehehehehe (Yeah, we know, deep inside that this is just fun and games, not real, but refuse to admit that out loud! kehehehehehehe) Teddy: And when it was over, Vince and Brock look at each other, smile their evil smiles and Vince gives Brock Kurt's belt as they gloat over Kurt's bloody body! All: Why, Brock, why? Spaulding: And last night, Vince had Brock come out and tell everyone why! Teddy: Can't quote exactly, but Brock said something like, "A famous man once said, 'a friend is a friend only for as long as you need him!' I needed Kurt as a friend until he stole my belt away from me, and have been plotting to win it back ever since." Spaulding: BUT, we ain't stupid! We remember you and Kurt hated each other until you sent Kurt to the hospital! Then, and only then, you two became friends! Teddy: Yeah, we've watched your friendship develop over the last couple of months! What you said made no sense! Spaulding: Granted, to enjoy Rasslin' we must suspend reality for a while-- Teddy: And THIS is being said by Teddy bears. kehehehehehehe Spaulding: BUT, be consistent in this fantasy/reality! Your answer makes no sense, so we all have to ask, once again... All: Why, Brock, why? Teddy: Until next time....

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