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Tuesday, February 24, 2004

A Little Extra

Teddy: After we publish our Blog we peak at other's blogs! Spaulding: Found this link on another Blog... Teddy: ...the one above... Spaulding: ..and tried it! Teddy: It's to figure out where your accent says you are from in the USA. Spaulding: It's for people, but since we speak like Mommy and Daddy, we did it with Mommy. Teddy: Strangely, some of the answers didn't apply! Spaulding: Like when we write, sometimes we say, "Y'all," but in real life we say, "You guys!" Teddy: That wasn't an option! Spaulding: Anyway, we ended up being only 50% Northerners! Teddy: Didn't even qualify as "Yankees" and we've never even visited the South! Spaulding: Have some fun and try it out! Teddy: Meanwhile, we have to get back to catching up on this Blog! Spaulding: So, until next time...

Sunday, February 15, 2004

A Beary Special Valentine's Day!

Spaulding: Considering that Mommy and Daddy have always intentionally ignored Valentine's Day... Teddy: ...they say that they show their love for each other every day and Valentine's Day is merely a greeting card company ploy to sell more stuff in an otherwise dead month for greeting card sales, so they refuse to go along with it... Spaulding: ...Valentine's Day has become quite an event in our little Teddy Bear World! Teddy: It started last year, when Spaulding and Lady decided to celebrate the day, even if Mommy and Daddy aren't big fans! Spaulding: We made plans early, which included having Axlerod and Teddy watch the kids while Lady and I had some private time, just to cuddle and talk. Teddy: But they also decided to give each other romantic, specially made for the other, cards that Mommy helped them make! Spaulding (blushing so much he looks like a crimson bear): Oh, yeah! I remember her card! And I can't believe how close she came to my card for her! ::::::::::::::::::::::::He continues to blush with a big smile on his face, knowing that it was such a special thing between the two of them that neither were going to go into any detail of what those cards were. Lady, who is here to help with the journal entry along with the rest of the family, is also blushing as much as Spaulding. Fortunately, the kids are more interested in helping with the journal, so they don't notice enough to ask anything about what's happening.:::::::::::::::::::::::: Teddy: Now Daddy was watching Mommy helping Spaulding and then Lady make their cards, so he got to thinking about his own cute, sweet, and beary special, little Teddy Bear--ME! All: Kehehehehehehehehehehehe :::::::::::::::::Teddy, in shock, looks at the others for an explanation for the laughing. It brings more laughter, which he simply doesn't understand. He has all the confidence of a "beary special" Teddy Bear, so doesn't consider what he says as boasting, which is exactly why everyone is laughing.:::::::::::::::::::: Spaulding: Since Mommy and Daddy don't celebrate Valentine's Day, it was no big thing for them to go out grocery shopping on Valentine's Day, last year. Lady (still blushing a little): Actually, I think they went out that day to give us some alone time too! ::::::::::::Spaulding thinks for a moment, and then nods in agreement while the blushing rises a little more again.::::::::::::: Teddy: Hey, Valentine, you were there, why don't you tell the story? Valentine (delighted to tell the story, but a bit bashful with everyone suddenly looking at her): I was sitting on a shelf in the "Seasonal Aisle" with all the other Easter decorations, particularly other stuffed bunny rabbits, lambs and chicks, when a huge hand pulled me off my shelf, turned me all around, as the beary big person... Teddy: ...Daddy!... Valentine: ...yeah, but I didn't know much at that time, not quite being born yet! I think he was checking to see if I had any flaws! Teddy: You're perfect though, so he didn't find any! ::::::::::::::::::The whole family smiles as they nod in agreement.:::::::::::::::: Valentine (blushing more now and looking at her long feet): Well, he rushed me over to Mommy... Teddy: ...even though you didn't know she was Mommy yet... Valentine (nodding in agreement and looking into Teddy's sweet face): ...and asked her if she thought I would be a good size for someone named Teddy! Dee (trying to be helpful): Oh, you're perfect for Teddy! Valentine (blushing again): That's what Mommy said, even though I didn't know who or what a Teddy was back then, not being born quite yet! Teddy: Daddy was sad to see me without someone special on Valentine's Day, so he had to buy me someone to love for all my beary own! The way Mommy tells it, they really rushed to put the groceries away, looking forward to seeing my face when they sprung this surprise on me! Ding (having experienced a few crushes of his own, so early in his young life): It was a great face you made too! You smiled so big, I thought the two ends of your mouth were going to meet on the back of your head! Axlerod: I was afraid that Daddy was going to drop her, when she started speaking her first words... All, in unison): "Hi, bunny! Hop along with me! Boing boing boing boing boing boing boing boing! Happy Springtime! Boing boing boing boing boing boing boing boing!" Kehehehehehehehehehehehe Lady (to explain to those who read this journal): Valentine is the only one of us to have the ability to speak out loud in Peoples World! Teddy: The minute I pulled her out of that bag, she became officially born! Axlerod: And you officially fell in love with her! All: Kehehehehehehehehehehehehe Valentine (suddenly finding her courage): And I fell in love with him too! All: Kehehehehehehehehehehehehe Lady: We were nice enough to let her get to know everyone without rushing in on her or overwhelming her though! Valentine: I dunno about that! On the shelf, we were often handled by little kids, so we used to think we were all going to homes with kids in them. Sometimes the kids were beary little and tried to suck on our ears or foot. Sometimes they would be grumpy and toss us clear across the aisle. Most of us wanted to grow up with little kids,...or, at least figured we would grow up with little kids! I never expected to belong to another stuffed animal! Never heard of such a thing! Teddy: Well, if it helps any, officially you belong to Mommy! Valentine (again feeling shy, but also bold enough to say what's on her mind): No, I belong to you, Honey! All: Kehehehehehehehehehehehe Valentine (over her shyness again): But still coming to a new home and meeting so many stuffed animals at once was scary! Good scary, like going down a sliding board for the first time, but scary! All: Kehehehehehehehehehehehe Dee (feeling very grown up like compassion): Did we make it easy on you? Valentine: My memories are fading of before being born and of being newly born, but I do remember three things that made me realize I was home and beary loved. Dee: What were they? Valentine: The first was you giving me your summer dress to wear, so I wouldn't be cold. It didn't fit so well, but it made me feel like part of the family. ::::::::::::::::::::Dee blushes as Valentine looks at Teddy.:::::::::::::::::::::: Valentine: The second thing was waking up one of those first mornings and finding myself leaning against your shoulder as you held my paw so nice and warmly! :::::::::::::::::::Teddy now blushes.:::::::::::::::::::::: Valentine: And the third thing was Mommy actually ordering, just for me, my beary own special snaps for my beary own overalls, complete with the pink calico, so no one would mistake me for a boy, even if I wear overalls! That's when I knew I really belonged and wanted to live here always--kids or not! Ding (puzzled and glanicng towards Dee): Aren't we kids? All: Kehehehehehehehehehehehe Valentine (with her big smile that mirrors Teddy's smile): Of course you are, but I meant the Peoples World kind! All: Kehehehehehehehehehehehe Spaulding (after listening to this story, remembers why they all came to add to the journal this day): We will also be talking about this Valentine's Day too, right?! All: Kehehehehehehehehehehehe Teddy: Sure, but we had to start at last Valentine's Day to s'plain why this one was so beary important! ::::::::::::::::::::::All nod in agreement.::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: Dee (feeling just a little more connected with the grown up stuffed animal gals at the moment): This year, we all had something special in mind! Ding: Last year, we were still too little to know much about Valentine's Day, but with watching what happened when Aunt Valentine joined our family... Spaulding (with a proud Poppa smile on his face): ...and my son having a couple of crushes in the last year... :::::::::::::Everyone smiles at Ding, but know if they laugh, he will lose his confidence altogether.:::::::::::::::: Ding (blushing, but feeling a bit more connected with grown up stuffed animal guys at the moment): ...and watching our parents showing affection to each other all our lives.... Dee: ...and watching Uncle Teddy and Aunt Valentine fall in love so quickly and then getting married with our parents on Easter last year... Ding: ...this year we all wanted to make the day doubly special--in celebration of Valentine's birthday and as a day that we show how much we love each other! ::::::::All applaud Ding and Dee's little speech with geniune agreement and joy.:::::::::: Lady: We each had our own little ideas of what we wanted to do for one another. Valentine: We had so many plans that we were afraid that we would get all crossed up with the plans if we didn't tell everyone else. Axlerod: Being the patriarch of the family.... Teddy: "Patriarch!" Good word! Dee (not ashamed to ask at all): What does it mean? Spaulding: Every family has one person they look to for guidance, or to make a decision if no one is in agreement.... Lady: ...Generally, it's either the oldest or one of the oldest members of the family, because they have experienced more over the years, hopefully knowing all the other members beary well and basing their decisions on that knowledge.... Teddy: ...If that person is a gal, then she is called the "matriarch," because "matri-" means "mother.".... Valentine: And, like in this family, if that person is a guy, like Axlerod, then he is called "patriarch," because "patri-" means "father." :::::::::Ding and Dee think this over and are awaken shortly afterwards, so they don't miss anything.::::::::::::::: Axlerod (smiling at his grandchildren as he realizes how much they are like the rest of the family): Well, being the patriarch of this family, I was the one everyone was seeing for advice and ideas. It didn't take long before I noticed that some of these ideas were conflicting with other's plans. :::::::::::All look at him with confusion and surprise, not realizing, that each of them wasn't the only one to go talk to Axlerod.::::::::::::: Axlerod: And, since I often go to Mommy for help too, we both found out it was getting more complicated then we originally planned. We had to do something quickly, or there would be hurt feelings on the day of the year when that just isn't supposed to happen! :::::::::Axlerod and Mommy look at each other and nod solemnly.::::::::::::::::: Axlerod: Mommy knows that for some strange reason, we don't always like telling Mommy and Daddy our adventurous plans! :::::::Glancing at Mommy, Axlerod knows she is about to explain why, even if she hates interferring with their journal entries and prefers just to be the one who takes down all they say.:::::::::::: Axlerod (quickly to stop Mommy): Actually, we talked that over too, and figured out that we stuffed animals hate to tell Mommy and Daddy our adventurous plans because we don't want them to feel badly because they can't always come and we don't want them to worry too much about us while we're gone, even if I stop time while we're gone and they don't know we left! Spaulding (kind of embarrassed to say this, but feeling the need to say it so his children know that he knows this too): Also, we just like to go places without feeling like having our Mommy and Daddy HAVE to go with us! It makes us feel more grown up! :::::::::::Ding and Dee, knowing the feeling well, drop their jaws as they discover their parents know it too.:::::::::::::: Axlerod: So, before everything got out of hand, I had us gather for a family meeting last Wednesday night, after Teddy and Spaulding finished their last entrance into this journal... Teddy: ...and after dinner, of course! All: Kehehehehehehehehehehehe Axlerod: You need surprises for Valentine's Day and for birthdays, so I divided everyone's plans into two parts:... Lady: ...the first part was the surprises that we could keep even after agreeing on the second part. Valentine: And the second part was stuff we would all be doing together---like who's making dinner and where we were going to eat! Axlerod: That was the problem developing! The gals wanted to surpirse the guys with a specially made hotdog metloaf, but the guys were planning on taking the gals out for dinner! Then there was also the problem of what to do. Since it is such a beary special day this year, we had to go somewhere and do something, but could we do that without worrying about taking care of Mommy and Daddy?! Teddy: I particularly didn't want Valentine to make dinner, since it was her birthday too, so she should be treated like a queen for that day! Valentine (with her very biggest smile): As if you don't treat me like a queen every day! All: Kehehehehehehehehehehehe Dee: I already planned to help my Mommy and Aunt Valentine to make dinner, so I offered to help my Mommy more, so Aunt Valentine didn't have to cook at all! Valentine: BUT, I wanted to do something specal for Teddy for Valentine's Day... Ding (speaking to the readers): Are you confused yet?! All: Kehehehehehehehehehehehe Axlerod: That's when some of the secrets everyone was telling me came in handy! Several family members had secret plans on where they wanted to take others, but Valentine was one of them, and she wanted to have a picnic, of sorts, at the Alice in Wonderland exhibit in the Please Touch Museum, which is a museum in our home city of Philadelphia, PA specially created for kids! Dee (also speaking to the readers): Stuffed animals, no matter how old they become, are always kids! My grandpa, Axlerod, is a kid, a beary old kid, but a kid still! He's just an older then me kid! All: Kehehehehehehehehehehehe Axlerod: For Valentine's birthday AND for everyone else to celebrate their love for one another, I decided, with everyone's permission, that instead of Valentine contributing to the day by cooking something special for Teddy, we would all go to The Mad Hatter's Tea Party, on behalf of Valentine! Valentine: Sounded good to me, if it sounded all right to Lady. I did promise to help make dinner! Lady: And I felt funny having the birthday gal make her own dinner on his birthday, so it sounded great to me too! Dee: I figured that I'd be able to help more with just Mommy cooking, so I liked it too! Ding: What was beary cool about that meeting is that we all could keep our individual surprises for each other, without having to tell everyone ahead of time! Dee: We all had surprises too! Ding and I were in charge of making a card for Valentine's brithday and a card for everyone for Valentine's Day! Axlerod: Everyone knew they were the card makers, so the only other one to make a card would be Teddy for his wife! They were all great cards too! Ding: It took two tries before we made cards that could be printed, and colored and given! Dee: At first we went to my favorite web site for paint-by-numbers... Ding: ...and the two of us painted a beary fun Valentine's card all by ourselves... Dee: ...only to find out that we couldn't print it!!!! Ding: We worked quite a while on that, and since Grandma... Spaulding: ...Mommy, as the rest of us call her... Ding: ...was helping everyone with their surprises, we only had a little while to make up for it! Dee: Grandma helped us search the Net until we found Ding's favorite coloring pages and then helped us color a birthday card from all of us... Ding: ...Uncle Teddy made his own personal beary special card for Valentine with Mommy's help... Valentine (with great delight): It said that his life was great before me, but now that I'm in his life, his life is soooooooo incredibly GREAT! Can you think of anything nicer to read?! Dee: Did you like our card too?! Valentine: Oh, it was gorgeous--and colored so beary well too! My favorite colors for a birthday cake and balloons! :::::::::::::::::Ding and Dee blush but smile with delight.:::::::::::::::::: Ding: We also found a great coloring page of a box of chocolate in the shape of a heart that could be cut out and taped under what looks like a real top for a box of chocolates! Dee: It was a lot of fun to color too! Did everyone like it?! Lady and Valentine: It was perfect! Thank you! :::::::::::::::Everyone else, including Grandma, nod in agreement.:::::::::::::::::::: Teddy: Spaulding gave me the idea of what to give my Honey for her birthday---the only birthday I know where the WHOLE world celebrates with us! Spaulding: It was an easy idea, since we still had all the stuff needed to do it, after making Daddy his magical key chain and Teddy his macho bracelet, both with their names on them! Teddy: Mommy bought a kit that we can make bracelets, keychains or necklaces with plastic beads and string, and a whoooole bunch of square beads with letters on them. Spaulding gave me it, and it still had enough letters to make Valentine a waistlet... Valentine: ...like a bracelet for my waist... Teddy: ...she really likes it and it looks great on her! ::::::::::::Everyone, including Valentine, nods in agreement, as Valentine rubs her paws along the letters of her name.:::::::::::::: Spaulding: I didn't want to spoil the specialness of Valentine's beary own birthday, but it was also Valentine's Day, and I wanted to do something special for my Laaaaaaaaady! While Mommy secretly measured Valentine's waist, I had her measure the crown of Lady's head too! I s'plained to Mommy the headwear that I wanted her to make my dear, sweet Laaaaaaaaaaaaady! ::::::::Lady steps out in front of everyone, like a model down a runway, and shows off her new light green ear warmer. Everyone ooh's and ahhh's in admiration.::::::::::::: Spaulding (still happy with his choice): I asked Mommy to make it wide enough to be used as either an ear warmer or as a head band to pull her ears back a little, but that it had to be a light green to go along with the light green trim around her faux fur coat. As usual, Mommy made it perfectly! ::::::::::::::::All nod in agreement as Mommy blushes.:::::::::::::::::: All: Kehehehehehehehehehehehehe Axlerod: There was one more group decision to be made before we celebrated together! All: Which day would we celebrate Valentine's Day on?! Axlerod: Yeah, we know that sounds like a no brainer, but in this family sometimes we have to organize everything according to how Mommy and Daddy feel! Lady: There is one day, every week, where Daddy has the energy to do something fun! Teddy: And since it coincided with Valentine's weekend, Daddy announced earlier in the week that he would take Mommy out for brunch to celebrate Friday the 13th! All: Kehehehehehehehehehehehehe Spaulding: I told you that they don't celebrate Valentine's Day! All: Kehehehehehehehehehehehehe Axlerod: Since Daddy and Mommy were going to need all our napergy on Valentine's Day, we all decided to celebrate our special day on the same day as Mommy and Daddy! Valentine: I sure am glad we aren't surperstitious! Teddy: Superstitious?! Who are you kidding? You don't go anywhere without your two rabbit's feet! All: Kehehehehehehehehehehehehe ::::::::::It takes a while for them to all settle down after that laughing fit!::::::::::: Axlerod: We went to the Please Touch Museum's Alice in Wonderland exhibit, while Daddy and Mommy were out. Lady: I brought a beary big hotdog meatloaf just in case others would be joining us! Valentine: Since the Mad Hatter and March Hare were home when we went to their place for our tea party, I'm glad you did! All: Kehehehehehehehehehehehehe Teddy: We found out why those two are considered crazy! Spaulding: Know what they have at their tea parties? All: Coffeecoffeecoffeecoffee!!!! Kehehehehehehehehehehe :::::::::::Again it takes a while for them to settle down after that laughing fit!::::::::::::: Dee: They also had NeHi in the frig, so Ding and I could also drink something while we eat. Ding: We're too young to drink coffeecoffeecoffeecoffee. We usually drink milk, but on special occasions, or during special dinners, we are also allowed to have one beary big NeHi of our choice! Lady: OK, so, Teddy Bears only drink and eat in Teddy Bear World, which is a pretend world, but still, I'm a mother, so just can't cotton to the thought of my kids ALWAYS eating bad things for them, even if we do eat them all the time! I'm a Mom. I can be like that! All: Kehehehehehehehehehehehehe Valentine: The children, who were going through the exhibit as we came in, stayed and celebrated our party with us, the Mad Hatter and the March Hare. Axlerod: With Mommy taking care of the housework and all, plus trying to help us create our beary own web den, it's been so busy lately that we never had time to tell our Beary Buddies about are party! Spaulding (embarrassed and sad): I'm sorry, Beary Buddies, but we will catch you the next time, even if the next brithday in our family is in August! We're getting the Web Den finished and haven't seen you enough lately, so will be making plans to get together as soon as our Web Den is published! We didn't even have time to tell our neighbors downstairs, or the Need-To-Be-Adopted Bears in the basement! Teddy: Still, it's not every day that you have a party with book characters! We're going to have to start considering adventures back in the Astras soon, instead of in Peoples' World! ::::::::::::::::All nod in solemn agreement.::::::::::::::::::: Valentine: It was sad when the party was over, but we did get back home before Mommy and Daddy did! Axlerod: Since Mommy and Daddy were out, I only slowed down time, instead of stopped it! Spaulding: That gave us ample time to nap with them when they did get home! Teddy: Just because the party was over, didn't mean our celebration was over! After dinner that night, still had to show off our secret projects--like the cards and presents! Dee: And I got to show off my beary secret project that no one but grandma knew about! I made two birthday cakes---one for that day, and one for the following day, so Aunt Valentne could have a birthday cake... Ding: ...that looked just like the one in the picture that we drew... Valentine: ...except the one in the picture didn't have hotdogs in the middle... All: Kehehehehehehehehehehehehe Dee: ...on her REAL birthday! Spaulding: Good thing she made two too! Teddy: We managed to eat all of the first one that night, so there would have been no leftovers the following day. Spaulding: It's Daddy's fault! He gave us a small cup of coffeecoffeecoffeecoffee late, and what goes better with coffeecoffeecoffeecoffee then birthday cake?! All: Kehehehehehehehehehehehehe Valentine: My beary first birthday was beary, beary special! Thank you, everyone! Lady: And Valentine's Day was also beary, beary special! Axlerod: Out of all we made and did, the best part was still being together and knowing we are loved beary, beary much! Teddy : And for all reading this, who have Teddy Bears, let it be known... Spaulding: Even if your bears don't say it out loud... Dee and Ding: "Remember, you are beary, beary loved all year long!" Lady: And, if you don't have one--what's holding you up? Go get yourself a Teddy Bear! Valentine: Or any kind of stuffed animal! Teddy: Soooooooo, until next time...

Wednesday, February 11, 2004

Big Help from Little Teddy Bears

Teddy: We've been beary busy lately! Spaulding: We're swapping Internet Providers, and so, are working on a new web den! Teddy: Since Mommy has to help us... Spaulding: They really need to make keyboards that have big enough keys for Teddy Bear paws to use! Teddy: ...we have to help Mommy do chores! ::::::::::::::::::::Mommy speaks to them quietly:::::::::::::::::::::: Spaulding: Mommy says that she wants everyone to know that we don't have to do any chores at all, since our main job is to take care of Mommy and Daddy. Teddy: Mommy and Daddy feel badly that they have such trouble keeping up with chores because of their disabilities, and so, feel terrible if they catch us doing any chores! Spaulding: Something about "being little kids" and "enjoying playing and having fun," but she doesn't seem to understand that we only do things that are fun to us! Teddy: And, even for little Teddy Bears, playing house with a real house IS beary, beary fun! Spaulding: Since Mommy and Daddy don't like us doing chores, we either do chores when they aren't looking... Teddy: ...or ask if we can help when they are doing the work! Spaulding: They usually let us help if we ask, because they give us the fun parts of what they are doing! Teddy: If Daddy is making meatballs... Spaulding: ...or Mommy is making meatloaf... Teddy: ...they get all the ingredients in a bowl... Spaulding: ...and let us squish it all together! Teddy: We put our magical chef's gloves on so the juices won't get our beans wet! Spaulding: It's fun to squish ground meat with our paws! Teddy: Kinda like making mudpies, but we're actually making something that can be eaten later! Spaulding: Mommy has recently let me really help prepare the potatoes to be boiled to make mashed potatoes! Teddy: Mommy keeps saying she has two speeds: slow and reverse! Both: Kehehehehehehehehe Spaulding: At first, to avoid getting my beans wet, Mommy just let me contribute by singing while she peeled the potatoes! Teddy: He'd sing The William Tell Overture! Spaulding: No! I'd sing The Lone Ranger's Theme! Teddy (with an understanding smile): Yeah, it's the same thing! Spaulding (with the light bulb turning on over his head): Oooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhh! Both: Kehehehehehehehehe Teddy: It helped Mommy go beary fast! Spaulding: BUT, last week, she let me take the next step... Teddy: ...using magical chef's gloves, of course... Spaulidng: She let me peel the potatoes all by myself! Teddy: And then she let him cut up the potatoes all by himself! I'm just so impressed! Spaulding: Welllllllllllllllll she didn't want me to cut myself, so she gave me a butter knife to cut them, instead of the sharp knife that she uses! Teddy: Yeah, but that means she knew you were strong enough to use a butter knife, and she was right too! ::::::::::Spaulding looks back at Mommy. A big proud grin lights up his face after Mommy nods her head.:::::::::::::::: Spaulding (flexing his muscles): Cool! I also had to rinse the potatoes and then add water to the pot! Teddy: Wasn't it heavy to carry the pot full of potatoes and water to the stove? Spaulding: I weigh less then a pound and that had to weigh 14 BILLION pounds! It was beary hard, but Mommy helped me! Teddy: Out of all that we did this last week, what were you the proudest doing? Spaulding: I think making those mashed potatoes, since making bread crumbs was so hard, I gave up midway through it! Teddy: Bread crumbs? How do you make bread crumbs? I thought bread crumbs were what was left on our plate after eating several hotdogs! Both: Kehehehehehehehehe Spaulding: Last weekend, when you were taking care of Daddy, Mommy got a moment of being domestic... Teddy: "Domestic!" Good word! Not usually associated with Mommy though! Both: Kehehehehehehehehe Spaulding: Don't worry, it didn't last too long! Even she said that it would be the last time she made homemade bread crumbs! Teddy: Why? Spaulding: I told you--it's beary hard! Teddy: How do you make them? Spaulding: Mommy had been saving the end pieces of loaves of bread! Teddy: End pieces of loaves of bread are much bigger then crumbs!? Spaulding: That's just how you start! She let them dry out on a table and then saved them in a plastic bag. When she had a bunch of them, she pulled out the blender! Teddy: That reminds me! What is green and red and goes round and round and round? Spaulding: What? Teddy: A frog in a blender! Get it get it get it?! Both: Kehehehehehehehehe Spaulding: She had done this before, so knew it would be difficult to grind them down from big pieces so she got out big bowl and the potato masher and asked me to smash them down to smaller sizes, but I didn't get beary far! Teddy: Did she do it? Spaulding: It was beary, beary hard, and she couldn't do any better then I did! Teddy: So, then, what did you do? Spaulding: We had to break up each piece by paw or hand, and then when we had enough to fill the blender three quarters of the way up, we would make the blender pulse a whole bunch! Teddy: What's "pulse"? Spaulding: Looks kinda like the blender is hiccupping! You turn it on for a moment, then tun it off! Then you keep doing that over and over again until all the pieces of bread are gone and replaced by ground crumbs! Teddy: Sounds messy! Spaulding: Down right crumby! Both: Kehehehehehehehehe Teddy: So how was that hard? Spaulding: Mommy did about five batches like that, and, after 20 minutes on the fist batch, I gave up when I smelled hotdogs upstairs! Teddy: Oh yeah! That's when Daddy and I were watching that PBS special about HOTDOGS! Enough hotdogs seen on that show that I'm sure Mawson, who lives waaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyy on the other side of the world, could smell hotdogs! Spaulding: While we slipped into the TV and got a few dozen hotdogs each, Mommy finished up making the crumbs! Teddy (blushing): I was thinking so much about hotdogs, I even forgot you were telling about bread crumb making! Both: Kehehehehehehehehe Spaulding: That's the advantage of living here! Mommy and Daddy prefer that we just have fun, instead of helping them, so Mommy didn't even get a little angry that I didn't finish helping her! Teddy: I do remember Mommy telling Daddy that it was cheaper and easier to just buy bread crumbs from now on, since it took so long to make them, but we have enough to last us a while! Spaulding: What was the chore you did in the last week that made you the proudest? Teddy: I'm beary good at taking care of Daddy, but I don't consider that a chore as much as a passion! ::::::::::::::::::Both nod in somber agreement:::::::::::::::::::::::: Teddy: With Daddy not feeling well and me taking care of him night and day, I can't do chores so often, so, I think I liked balancing the checkbook with you the most! Spaulding: Mommy really, really hates doing that, so I'm glad she smiled so big when she caught us doing that! Teddy: I don't quite understand how she's been able to do it without a scale before! :::::::::::::::::::::both shrug their shoulders in confusion:::::::::::::::::::::::: Spaulding: Her Mommy must have been a Teddy Bear lover too, since she gave Mommy that perfect Teddy Bear size scale! :::::::::Mommy quietly explains that it was from a trip her Mom took to Pennsylvania Dutch country, and was for Mommy's dolls when she was little::::::::::::::: Teddy: Dolls?! Weird! Spaulding: I'm glad we have our money calculating baseball caps and big enough mugs for coffeecoffeecoffeecoffee to keep us alert enough to balance the checkbook and the coins! Teddy: I can't remember exactly how much the checkbook weighed! Spaulding: Me either! It was something like four quarters, a nickel, two dimes and some pennies! Teddy (whispering is best loud whisper): I WAS AFRAID TO USE OUR MONEY TO BALANCE THE CHECKBOOK, BUT MOMMY DID LET US KEEP OUR MONEY! ::::::::::::::::::::::::::Both nod with big smiles in solemn agreement:::::::::::::::::::::::::::: Spaulding: Balancing the checkbook was easy! I don't know why Mommy hates it! Teddy: Mommy doesn't drink coffeecoffeecoffeecoffee! Maybe that's why! Spaudling (again feeling the light bulb go on over his head): Oooooohhhhh, that's got to be it!!! Teddy: I'm sure glad we could fold laundry together though! I never knew how hard that is! Spaulding: I like that Flipfold thingy! Teddy: Mommy and Daddy needs lots and lots and lots of material for their clothes.... :::::::::::::::::::Teddy stops in mid sentence, suddenly realizing that Mommy might think that means that he thinks she is fat! Fearing that she will be upset, he quickly finishes the sentence before looking at her reaction:::::::::::::::::::::: Teddy: I-I-I'm meaning that they are much taller then Teddy Bears not that they are fat or anything, just that people are so much bigger, but not in a fat way, then Teddy Bears that their clothes need a whole bunch, well, a bit more, material to make then tiny, itty bitty, adorable, Teddy Bears! ::::::::::::::::Spaulding has a large smile as he watches Teddy trying to get out of trouble and trying not to hurt Mommy's feelings. He's been watching Teddy back peddle and watching Mommy's reaction the whole time, knowing that Mommy did understand, and finally, nods his head to let Teddy know it is all right to look at Mommy. Teddy finally notices that his seat, Mommy's right leg, has been bouncing up and down since he started his sentence, and looks up to see Mommy suppressing a huge belly laugh, big enough to shake her whole body, including the two Teddy Bears and laptop that are on her lap! During her laughing fit, she does remind them that their parents ARE, not only bigger then most people, but are also bigger then they should be, or, although she never wants their Teddy Bears to be so cruel as to use such language, FAT -- over-weight, being the preferred term. Teddy sags in relief, then smiles widely as he hugs his Mommy:::::::::::::::::::::::: Spaulding (aware that Teddy had lost his point, continues for his brother): The Flipfold thingy is even more helpful for us then for Mommy, because we can get all tangled up in the cloth, and the Flipfold let's us do most of the folding, just by flipping its parts! Way cool! Teddy (already having forgot his mistake): And that's beary good since actually climbing up to get the piece of laundry and dragging it to where it needs to go, is tough since most of the laundry is bigger then we are! Spaulding: I'm glad you helped, or I couldn't have done it myself, but you really should have been catching up on your sleep while Daddy was napping! Teddy: I want our web den as much as you do, so wanted to help! Spaulding: But falling asleep getting the next piece of laundry proved you needed a nap! Teddy (smiling sheepishly): Ooooooooooooohh, that's why I don't remember doing the rest of the laundry! I did like waking up in Valentine's arms though! Both: Kehehehehehehehe Spaulding: Well, along with working on the web den and doing chores, we also have to prepare for Valentine's Birthday! Teddy: I can't get believe how the whole world seems to know about her birthday! Everything on TV lately is teaching us how to make cards for her, and cook dinners for her and what to buy or make for her presents! Spaulding: And all the stores are having sales for her birthday---wellllll, car dealers and furniture stores are anyway! Teddy: Valentine's first birthday! We've been in love for almost a whole year now! I can't wait! Spaulding: Truth is, Valentine shares her day with another peoples' tradition--one day a year when every one HAS to show their love ones how much they are loved! It may be Valentine's birthday, but if I don't do something special for Lady, I'm in trouble! Teddy: Well then, we better go get ready for Saturday then! Spaulding: Soooooooo, until next time...

Saturday, February 07, 2004

Health Care Reform

Spaulding: We hear a lot of Peoples' News, but don't understand much of what it is talking about! Teddy: Like we kept hearing about something peoples in the United States seem to need, but we didn't understand, called "Health Care Reform." Spaulding: On Wednesday, we found out what that means! Teddy: Mommy went to see a doctor and he definitely needs reform! Spaulding: And we are definitely the stuffed animals to do it! Teddy: He did TWO things that were beary mean... Spaulding: ...although Mommy tried to tell us why it was needed. Teddy: We didn't understand that part. Spaulding: He gave Mommy a test that should be beary easy to pass! Teddy: When she came home, she gave us the test and even we passed it! Spaulding: BUT, Mommy is taking some drugs so she doesn't hurt so much, and the drugs make her brain not work as well as it used to do! Teddy: Mommy failed the test, even though she could do it with our help later on! Spaulding: And she got so upset that she started crying! Teddy: I KNEW we should have gone with her! We could have kicked that doctor in the knee right away! Spaulding: But, that is NOT the Teddy Bear way! We don't physically hurt anyone for any reason! Teddy: Some times that is a hard rule to follow! Spaulding (nodding in agreement): But, Mommy wanted us to have that time to be with our stuffed animal family, so while she was crying we were playing Hide N' Seek with our family! Teddy: That mean ole doctor wasn't done being mean either! Spaulding: Next he had Mommy lie down on that table thingy as he poked at her sore spot! Teddy: The center of her sore spot is right below her right ribs to the right and down midway from the breast plate! Spaulding: She says that all her doctors like to poke at that area, and it is beary sensitive, but THAT doctor pressed so hard, she thought he was trying to rip out her back bone through her front! Teddy: And, as if he wasn't being mean enough, he asked her to try to relax that area! Spaulding: I liked Mommy's answer to that request--"Sure, move your hands away!" Both: Kehehehehehehehehe Teddy: No, wait! That wasn't really funny! ::::::::::Both look at Mommy to see how she reacted to their laughing. Smilimg, she quietly tells them that it was meant to be funny. Sometimes people like to make bad situations better by laughing. They ponder that idea, and after being nudged awake, they continue on dictating their journal entry.::::::::::: Spaulding: Well, after she told us what happened, we decided to get back at him-- Teddy: Teddy Bear style, of course! Spaulding: Mommy and Daddy needed us that day, so we took care of them while the rest of our family packed for our moonlight trip! Teddy: I gave them a list of things we needed to take, and Axlerod was in charge of getting everyone to B.J. Max to buy the things we didn't already have. Spaulding: It was more then we usually take on our trips, but all necessary. Teddy: Ax gave me the list back, so here it is: coffeecoffeecoffeecoffee, honey, hotdogs... Spaulding: ...we needed to keep up our strength... Teddy (nodding his head in agreement): vaseline, a beary soft candle, ashes from Mommy and Daddy's ash trays, glue, and garlic paste! Spaulding: I'm glad Mommy taught me to cook! I took a few cloves of garlic, smashed them with the edge of a wide knife, and then smashed the smashed pieces some more in our mortar and pestle! Teddy: Then we put it in one of Mommy's empty pill holders and into our backpack! Spaulding: We put the ashes in a small medicine container too, as well as, the glue, and vaseline. We cut the beary soft candle with a chunk big enough to do what we wanted, but small enough to fit into our backpack! Teddy: The only things that didn't fit were the coffeecoffeecoffeecoffee, honey and hotdogs, but our helioplaneship boxcar is magical, so they all fit in easily with us. Spaulding: Mommy and Daddy went to bed early that night! Teddy: Mommy was so sore, it was the only thing she could think to do to make herself feel better. Spaulding: Stuffed animals have an ability that even some peoples have. It's called "M-path-E!" Teddy: When we do this M-path-E, we sim-path-eyez so well with someone that we can feel just like they do, but on a smaller scale. Spaulding: Since Mommy was hurt that day, we all M-path-E her so much that we all hurt a little! Teddy: Fortunately, being Teddy Bears, we can spread the M-path-E around so we all only felt one seventh as badly as Mommy! Spaulding: It hurt each of us, but not so much that it stopped us from going ahead with our plan! Teddy: Now, remember Spaulding saying that some peoples have this ability too? We were fortunate enough to have been adopted by two peoples with that special ability--Mommy and Daddy! Spaulding: That's not always a good thing to have though! Daddy is already sick all by himself, but... Teddy: ...BUT, on that day, Mommy told him what happened and he M-path-E her, making him both sick AND sore! Spaulding: Now the problem with M-path-E is that it's not just feeling like the other. Teddy: The feeling part comes from thinking how the other must feel, so it's a thinking thing too! Spaulding: Since we can't exactly know how the other is feeling, we probably add to the feeling by thinking about the other constantly! Teddy: If you're a Teddy Bear, that much thinking leads to naps! Spaulding: If you are a peoples, it causes the pain and a beary tired brain! Teddy: Daddy went to bed early that night, not only because he was sick... Spaulding: ...BUT, with M-path-E with Mommy all day, his brain was so tired we could hear the static! Teddy: Remember?! We also have tell-lep-path-E, so we always know what Mommy and Daddy are thinking! Spaulding: Sometimes people think so much their mind shuts down and all we can hear... Teddy: ...and all they hear too... Spaulding: ...is static! Teddy: We were glad they went to bed early, because they felt so badly and we kept M-path-E them! Spaulding: We M-path-E them so much, Axlerod had to freeze time in that first sleep, so we could rest well and recover a bit from hurting too! Teddy: Ax started time again... Spaulding: ...although he made it go beary slow, so we could do all we wanted without worrying about running out of time... Teddy: ...and woke us all up around 1 o'clock! Spaulding: We wanted to make sure Mommy and Daddy would sleep through the night! Teddy: The family had already loaded up the helioplaneship boxcar and were sitting in it waiting for us! Spaulding: Axlerod had peaked at Mommy's follow-up appointment card to find the address of this beary mean doctor. Teddy: We got there so fast that we didn't even get cold! Both: Kehehehehehehehehe Spaulding: We worked so well, it was as if we had practiced it all before hand! Teddy: The kids... Spaulding: ...who don't even drink coffeecoffeecoffeecoffee... Teddy: ...set up our brand new coffeecoffeecoffeecoffee set that we got for Christmas, making sure that the bottomless coffeecoffeecoffeecoffee pots were warm and full! Spaulding: The gals got to the office kitchen and grilled up a huge bunch of hotdogs for everyone! Teddy: Axlerod, Spaulding and I got out all the supplies we needed and grabbed some paper and pens to or-gan-eyez our plan. Spaulding: While we had our picnic on that mean ole doctor's desk, we talked over our plan. Teddy: And giggled often as we pictured the doctor getting caught in all of our traps! Both: Kehehehehehehehehe Spaulding: We separated into three different teams-- Teddy: Spaulding and I were one team, Lady and Valentine the second, and Axlerod and the kids were the third team! Spaulding: Axlerod, Ding and Dee made a great team! Axlerod is big and the kids are short, so they would use Ax to climb when necessary, and their weight wouldn't hurt Ax! Teddy: They were in charge of hotdog horrors! Both: Kehehehehehehehehe Spaulding: What? You thought we just brought the hotdogs to eat?! Both: Kehehehehehehehehe Teddy: They got next to the coat rack where the kids could reach the bottom of the doctor's white coat, broke the stitch on the side of his bottom seam and slipped in several hotdogs! Spaulding: When the doctor put his coat on, the added weight would make it constantly fall off his shoulders! Teddy: AND, once the hotdogs cooled off, they would start to smell something, but not figure out what! Both: Kehehehehehehehehe Spaulding: Next, they went to the closet in the doctor's office and pulled out his working shoes! Teddy: Axlerod is strong enough to flip the shoes over and... Spaulding: ...the kids used the bottom of his shoes like it was an iced-over pond... Teddy: ...and the hotdogs were their skates! Both: Kehehehehehehehehe Spaulding: The doctor's shoes would slip allllllll day! Both: Kehehehehehehehehe Teddy: Now the rest of the things we planned to do were divided into two areas-- Spaulding: Lady and Valentine were in charge of his office... Teddy: ...and we were in charge of his examination rooms! Spaulding: The gals got the honey and administered it liberally. Both: Kehehehehehehehehe Teddy: They put some on his telephone, on his keys and on the speakers to his speaker phone so it would be harder to hear! Both: Kehehehehehehehehe Spaulding: Also, they put a coating of vaseline onto his pager window, so he would think he was losing his eyesight! Both: Kehehehehehehehehe Teddy: Meanwhile, we were having some fun in the exam rooms! Both: Kehehehehehehehehe Spaulding: I opened up his bottle of handsoap and mixed in the garlic paste! Teddy: I wish we could watch as he washes his hands! Both: Kehehehehehehehehe Teddy: I mixed up the ashes with some vaseline. Doctors have this instrument where they look in peoples' ears or up their noses... Spaulding: Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww! Teddy (suppressing a laughing fit): ...we smeared the ashes and vaseline goop around where his eye goes, so, when he uses it, it will look like it gave him a black eye! Both: Kehehehehehehehehe Spaulding: And, we glued the fingers together of the next six disposable rubber gloves, just to drive him a little nutty! Both: Kehehehehehehehehe Teddy: We're hoping the last thing we did wouldn't go over the line of not being violent. Spaulding: We wanted to get him back for hurting our Mommy, but we didn't want to cause him any harm. Teddy: UNLESS, welllll, ummmmm, do you think having someone rip out his own ear hair is violent, or harmful, or nasty?! Spaulding: It made Mommy and Dadd laugh when we told them what we did! Teddy: Yeah, but they are peoples, so can lean towards being mean on occasion, even if they usually aren't. Spaulding: Well, we did do it, so we can only hope it didn't cross over and break any stuffed animal rules! Teddy: We took the chunk of beary soft candle and lit it! Spaulding: We aimed the falling wax over the earpieces of his stethoscope. Teddy: Because it was already a beary soft candle, we hope it will attach itself to the doctor's ears when he uses his stethoscope and, well, ummm,... Spaulding (too excited to contain himself anymore): ...we hope, when he takes it off, that it will take some of the hair in his ears too! ::::::::::::Both blush and turn around to see Mommy's reaction. When they see her suppressing her laughter just to keep typing, but then no longer holds it in when they pause, they feel greatly relieved. Remembering what they did and then picturing how it will all work out, they don't even try to suppress their laughter.:::::::::::: Both: Kehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe ::::::::::::::::::::Finally, after a good half hour of laughing so hard that their paws are sore from holding their sides, they can continue, sorta.:::::::::::::::::::: Spaulding: It's been a few days since we did that, and still Mommy hurts from that mean ole doctor! Teddy: She doesn't hurt as much as she did the day he did it though! Spaulding: And we did make Mommy and Daddy laugh beary much when we told them what we did! Teddy: And we didn't really hurt the doctor, just made him have a tougher then usual... Spaulding: ...more interesting then usual... Teddy: ...day. With that, we hope it will make him think before he does something so mean again! Spaulding: Or, since we are pretty sure he won't, we at least have taught whoever reads this to never, ever mess with the peoples Teddy Bears love! Both: Kehehehehehehehehe Teddy: Soooooooo, until next time...

Monday, February 02, 2004

Super Bowl--ads and game

Teddy: We did watch the Superbowl, although, we apparently missed something because we didn't watch the halftime show! Spaulding: They're so dumb, thinking everyone loves hip hop and that other loud, lacking-much-soul soul music! Teddy: At least last year they seemed semi-aware that there were a variety of generations watching the halftime show and included Aerosmith for the older folks, InSync for the bubble gum music set, and some others for in-between! Spaulding: But this year, they put on the halftime show for as small a generational set as they could muster-- Teddy: Valley girls and preteens! Spaulding: And, even doing that, they screwed up and put on a striptease! Teddy: I doubt thirteen year old girls... Spaulding: ...the group most interested in that obnoxious halftime show... Teddy: ...enjoyed P Diddy's girls doing a strip or Janet Jackson exposing her little pasty! Spaulding: And, dumber still, Justin Timberlake thought we'd buy his lie as he stood there with defiance in his eyes! Teddy: Teddy Bears can be innocent and gullible, but even we aren't THAT gullible! Spaulding: But, as we said, we missed the halftime show because we didn't like the garbage passing for music! Teddy: BUT, we did watch the Superbowl! Spaulding: For the first one and a half quarters, the only interesting stuff happening were the commercials! Teddy: We agree with John Laraquette, who said that TV shows are just there to give breaks between commericials... Spaulding: ...and the Superbowl shows that in it's finest glory! Teddy: For $2.6 million per minute, you'd think they'd do better for commericials! Spaulding: I liked some of the commercials a whole bunch! Teddy: Me too, but got nervous with that first set of commericials! Never did find out what the name of that red car was in the first commericial passed it being a Ford! That was a waste of money! Spaulding: I also hate when they talk about a drug in a commercial, tell everyone to ask their doctor about it, but never tell what it's for! Teddy: Like the cialis ad? Spaulding: Yup! Teddy: The Florida orange juice commercial and constant commercials for the All-Star Survivors show were hardly noticable too, but I just didn't like the AOL high-speed commercials, just too nerdy! Spaulding: Daddy liked them! They made him laugh! Teddy: I liked the husband watching the game as he put the clothes in the dryer and accidentally put his McDonald's hamburger in also! Spaulding: I didn't know peoples could smell food on each other! Teddy: The smell on his wife made him kiss her beary well!!! Both: Kehehehehehehehehehehehehehe Spaulding: Which was your favorite commercial?! Teddy: I liked a few of them! Spaulding: OK, then what were your favorite three?! Teddy: Well, obviously I liked the bears who found the leftovers in the cabin and went out to buy some Pepsi to go with them! Spaulding: I think the ID looked beary much like the grizzily! Both: Kehehehehehehehehehehehehehe Teddy: I looooooooooved the Clydsdale donkey! He reminded me of Teddy Bears--we can convince anyone of doing whatever we want them to do! Both: HeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeHawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!! Kehehehehehehehehehe Teddy: Hmmmmmmm, I can think of a few others I liked beary much too! Spaulding: But, you can only choose one more! Teddy: Then I have to go with the quarterback who touched the beary soft towel that was really some Charmins' toilet paper and he got so distracted the play was ruined! Spaulding: Because of the Charmins' bear in the commercial?! Teddy: Of course! Do you think the bear did that on purpose?! Spaulding: Of course! Both: Kehehehehehehehehehehehehehe Teddy: At least the bear uses toilet paper instead of...well, you know! Spaulding (whispering so Valentine doesn't hear): INSTEAD OF USING RABBIT FUR?! Both: Kehehehehehehehehehehehehehe (Mommy note: This is in reference to one of their favorite jokes, one they try not to tell since Teddy has married a rabbit. It goes like this-- a bear was walking in the woods and came across a rabbit. "Mr. Bunny," the bear asked, "when you 'go' in the woods, does it stick to your fur?" "No," the rabbit replied. "Good," answered the bear, right before he 'went.' When done, the bear grabbed the rabbit and used him as toilet paper.) Both: Kehehehehehehehehehehehehehe ::::::::::Both go into a long fit of laughter, lasting several mintues before they are settled down enough to continue.:::::::::::::: Teddy: So what were your three favorite commercials?! Spaulding: I really liked the three you said, but, so we can add a couple more to our list of favorites, I'll pick others! Both: Kehehehehehehehehehehehehehe Spaulding: Obviously, I liked the one with the Muppets and what's her name! Teddy: Jessica Simpson?! Spaulding (shrugging his shoulders): OK! I also liked Bill Parcell, Warren Sapp, and all those other football players singing, "The Sun Will Come Out Tomorrow," but that was just from the NFL, so I'm not sure if it cost $2.6 million! Teddy: With so many famous people in it, it might have cost them that much anyway! Spaulding: Yeah, but all those people were employed by the NFL, so it might still have been cheap for them! Teddy: That's true, now what's your third choice?! Spaulding: Yeah, that's a tough one! There were a couple of commercials that really hit home with their points like the one for AIG at the end that said, "This game is almost over, but your life isn't," and went on to talk about their retirement plans. Teddy: Is that your third choice? Spaulding (with a sly smile): Nope! And then there is the commercial for a Pepsi contest, where you can win free downloaded music and the background music was "I Fought the Law and The Law Won!" All those kids who got arrested for pirating music online telling about the contest! Teddy: So many young kids with criminal backgrounds for stealing music! It's shocking! Is THAT your third choice? Spaulding (with the same sly smile): Nope! But I know what Mommy thought was the commercial that everyone would remember for a while! Teddy: James Marshall Hendrix deciding Pepsi or Coke, and becoming famous because the Pepsi machine was in front of a pawn shop with an electric guitar in the window, instead of the pawn shop with the accordian in the window! Spaulding: Yeah, "Foxy Lady" doesn't sound as good on an accordian! Both: Kehehehehehehehehehehehehehe Teddy: But your THIRD choice?! Spaulding (with a huge smile): OK! Drum roll please! Teddy: dididididididididididididididididi-BLAM! And the winner of Spaulding's THIRD choice is-- Spaulding: Homer Simpson getting groceries at the MiniMart--$25! Both hairs cut--$20 and, as he sits at Moe's drinking a Duff's, "Getting home early to spend time with his family--.... Getting home early to spend time with his family--... Getting home early to spend time with his family--" And then Homer saying, "OK! I heard you already, geesh," then going out the door to go home to his family--priceless! Teddy: "Visa! Don't leave home without it!" Both: Kehehehehehehehehehehehehehe Spaulding: Should we tell runners ups?! Teddy: Mommy wrote down every decent or special commercial made for the Superbowl, but it would take forever to mention all the good ones! Spaulding: Then we aren't going to mention the one with all the kids sucking on bars of soap like Paul Heyman after losing to Cena? Both: Kehehehehehehehehehehehehehe Teddy: We liked that one, except it teetered on that line of decency that so many commercials crossed on that day! Spaulding: I have yet to see a full picture of the car it was promoting, BUT the little bit I did see almost makes you wanna say, "Holy Shhhh!" Both: Kehehehehehehehehehehehehehe Teddy: Didn't it feel like Janet Jackson wasn't the only one crossing the line of decency during the Superbowl?! Spaulding: We got more and more upset with all of Bud Light's commercials. The first one just hit the line itself with the two men and their dogs. Teddy: The first guy told his dog to fetch and the dog brought back a cold Bud Light, but the second guy told his dog "Bud Light" and the dog bit the frst guy in his privates, which made him toss his Bud Light! Spaulding: It did make us all laugh, but part of that was because the first guy was all snobby. Teddy: But, each following commercial got grosser and grosser, if "grosser" is even a word! Spaulding: If it isn't, it should be! Teddy: Sedgwick, the Entertainer, getting a bikini wax was funny! Spaulding: That was just on the line too! Teddy: The first one that passed that line was the horse who passed gas, causing a the woman holding the candle to get burnt. Spaulding: I like potty humor, but that was gross! Teddy: The one that simply creeped me out was the chimp hitting on the girlfirend as his Daddy left the room! Spaulding; That could be the only thing that made the gassy horse seem less gross! Teddy: Were there any other gross or just plain mean commercials? Spaulding: The old man and woman fighting for the bag of Lay's Potato Chips was both--gross because the old lady held on to the man's dentures and just plain mean when he'd all but step on her to get to the potato chips! Whatever became of sharing anyway?! Teddy: I dunno! Spaulding: Which ones do you remember, but weren't so good anyway?! Teddy: The heavy set waitress giving a broken hearted man a Pepsi to get over his break up and the guy cooling off under his kilt by standing over a steam vent--both silly and didn't make the wanted point for Pepsi or Sierra Mist! Spaulding: I did like 7 Up's slam dunk hoop on the back of the van he was driving! Teddy: Sure didn't stop anyone from trying to get nothing but hoop! Spaulding: I like the 7 Up commercials! Teddy: Me too, but it's getting towards where we should talk about the game too! Spaulding: Well, it was beary, beary boring for the first one and a half quarters like we said before! Teddy: Sure got interesting quickly after that! Spaulding: Well, even that first touchdown by the Pat's didn't make it much more interesting for some reason. Teddy: That missed field goal was surprising though! Spaulding: I bet the Panther's kicker is still kicking himself after that one! Not like it was a beary long one or anything! Teddy: I thought the Pat's touchdown would be the first and last one in the first half. There was only three minutes left, after all! Spaulding: Obviously, Panthers disagree with you with their answer and still one minute left! Teddy: Then there was no doubt it was an exciting game, since, by the time the half was over the score was 10-14 with the Patriots ahead! Spaulding: For a minute there, I thought the Panthers brought their bought-off refs, until they were the ones who were cheated out of a complete, when the refs called it incomplete! Teddy: And they knew they were wrong but refused to use the loop hole to correct their mistake... Spaulding: ...they didn't want to set it up so others could use the loop hole in the future! Teddy: No fair just closing the loop hole for the future... Spaulding:..Not like this wasn't the LAST GAME OF THE SEASON, so they had enough time to change that rule! Teddy: Duh, now! Both: Kehehehehehehehehehehehehehe Spaulding: The refs also missed a Pat's player punching DeHolmmes in the stomach after he passed off an 85 yard touchdown... Teddy: ...the longest pass ever in the Superbowl! Spaulding: They keep stats for EVERYTHING! Both: Kehehehehehehehehehehehehehe Teddy: I bet the Panthers could kick themselves twice for trying two point conversions twice instead of the simple extra point! Spaulding: The Patriots got theirs the one time they tried, when... Teddy: ...in the fourth quarter with a little under three minutes to spare... Spaulding: the score became 22-29 and the Pats were STILL winning! Teddy: Mommy thought that was the end of the game! Spaulding: I have to admit that I was impressed with the Carolina Panthers when, with just a little over one minute to go, they scored a touchdown and didn't go for the two point conversion! Teddy: That made the socre even, but New England kicked, and made, a 32 yard goal with four second left in the game. Spaulding: It was over with a win of 29-32! Teddy: Pretty good considering how boring it started! Both: Kehehehehehehehehehehehehehe Spaulding: Of course, that means that the Eagles are only the third best team in the NFL. Teddy: Mommy still doesn't think it matters and considers them chokers! Spaulding: We tried for two weeks to convince her that it's just a game, but haven't gotten beary far! Teddy: Peoples! Can't live with them... Spaulding: Can't shoot them! Both: Kehehehehehehehehehehehehehe Teddy: Well, that was our SuperBowl! No more football until next August, unless... Spaulding: UNLESS, we start watching Arena Ball... Teddy: ...inside football, with Jon Bon Jovi the guy who bought a franchise for Philadelphia this year! Spaulding: Next weekend The Philadelphia Souls play against New Orleans something another. Teddy: We'll find out next weekend, since Daddy can't give up on anything remotely like football after all this! Both: Kehehehehehehehehehehehehehe Spaulding: Soooooooo, until next time...

Sunday, February 01, 2004

The Royal Rumble!

Spaulding: We did go to The Royal Rumble the night after Teddy and Daddy's birthday, as planned. Teddy: We took the helioplaneship boxcar, not because the Wachovia Center is so far away, but, being shorter then peoples, we were afraid we wouldn't be able to see anything from ground level. Spaulding: The kids wanted to leave early, hoping to see some of their favorite stars as they came into the building. Teddy: We also took Mommy's first crocheted ski cap and scarf, because she made it so big that only someone like The Big Show could wear it... Spaulding: ...unless you like having a cap covering your whooooooooooooole head! Both: Kehehehehehehehehehehe Teddy: Unfortunately, we missed him, so we still have the cap! Spaulding: If anyone knows someone with a beary, beary, beary large head, who has trouble finding a ski cap big enough, bmail me and I will get Mommy to mail it to ya! Teddy: This commerical brought to you by.... Both: Kehehehehehehehehehehe Spaulding: We did see Jamie Noble and Nidia, but should have been surprised when Jamie kept walking but Nidia stopped to give us autographs! Teddy: Axlerod noticed immediately, but we were checking out her fur coat to make sure it was faux fur, so didn't notice. Spaulding: Nidia was blinded by Tajiri last November, when he sprayed her eyes with his mysterious black goop that he spits at the end of many of his matches! Teddy: How could a blind peoples sign autographs? Spaulding: But, since she's been blinded, her supposed boyfriend, Jamie, has been mean to her, throwing her into the ring to beat her up, and then blaming his opponents... Teddy: ...usually Mysterio, who is too nice of a guy to do that to a woman.... Spaulding: ...after the match! Teddy: After the matches, when Jamie's not around, Mysterio did go to her to apologize and tell who did do that to her, but she always seemed so beary a'scared, and didn't seem to listen. Spaulding: But, we got ahead of ourselves again! Teddy: Oh yeah! After getting autographs, we flew in and hovered over seats in the beary back row, so most wouldn't notice live stuffed animals watching the show! Spaulding: Long ago, Mommy helped us make poster, just our right size, to show off during different matches. Teddy: Since some wrestlers have turned into bad guys and others have turned into good guys since then, we also made some of our own too! Spaulding: If you've ever watched Ras'lin, you have seen how many signs are shown in the audience. If you go to this link, The Royal Rumble, and click on "Click here for Photos," you can see some of the pictures with the audiences' posters all around! Teddy: Since we were in the back though, you can't see ours! Spaulding: Well, also, since we are small... Teddy: ...compared to peoples... Spaulding: ...our posters are big to us but small to peoples! Teddy: BUT, as we tell about our adventure, we'll tell what our posters read! Spaulding: The first fight was the Dudley Boys against Coach and someone else, but since we don't watch RAW too often... Teddy: ...and because we like hotdogs... Spaulding: ...and the kids wanted something to eat... Teddy: ...even if we DID eat just before we left... Spaulding: ...we flew to the refreshment stand and missed that match! Teddy: Boy, oh, boy, do they have beary expensive food! Next time we bring our own! Spaulding: Didn't we say that the last time? Both: Kehehehehehehehehehehehehe Teddy: They do know how to make hotdogs though! Spaulding: BUT, they don't sell any NiHi! Teddy: Well, truthfully, NiHi isn't sold in the Northeast! The only reason we drink it is because Daddy liked it when he was young, so keeps importing it in for us by the truckload! Spaulding: That, and the fellow, who sells us hotdogs, buys enough to keep his favorite customers happy! Both: Kehehehehehehehehehehehehe Teddy: Anyway, the first bout we DID watch WAS Jamie Noble against Mysterio! Spaulding: For that bout, we pulled out our "619" poster! Teddy: Mysterio is also called "619," because he's from San Diego and its area code is "619." Spaulding: We like him a LOT! Teddy: He's one of the shortest, smallest ras'lers, and beary quick and gym.gym.gym-nas-cycle?! Spaulding (shrugging his shoulders): If it's not a word, it ought to be! Teddy:(nodding in agreement): He does flips and twist and turns, often yanking much bigger opponents to the floor by swinging around their necks with his legs, after jumping off the top rope! Spaulding: We think he might be a Teddy Bear in disguise! Teddy: And he's always in disguise, wearing a leather mask over his head, covering up everything but his eyes and mouth! Spaulding: And he wears beary light blue... Teddy: ...almost white!... Spaulding: ...contact lenses, so he is always in disguise! Teddy: As usual, the fight went back and forth, sometimes looking like Jamie might win, and sometimes like Mysterio might win, but we knew... Spaulding: ...even if there was a two count.... Teddy: ...that no one could win, until Mysterio did his famous 619 move! Spaulding: And this time the set up was way cool! Jamie was on the side of the ring near Nidia, and poor blind Nidia yanked his legs out from under him, making him kneel, while leaning against the bottom rope facing towards the audience! Teddy: That's the only position that Mysterio can do his 619 move, since it's when he gets a big running start from the other side of the ring, grabs the second rope with his top hand, the bottom rope with the other hand, swings his body around through the ropes,... Spaulding: ...like a gymnist on parralel bars, but side ways... Teddy: ...and then smashes his opponent with his legs, kicking the opponent backwards, flat on his back! Spaulding: That night it was Jamie, so Mysterio got his three count! Teddy: Boy, oh, boy, was Jamie upset with Nidia! Spaulding: That's when Axlerod told us that he was pretty sure Nidia did that on purpose! Teddy: On Smackdown! last night, we found out how right Ax was! Nidia can see again and set Jamie up for another whooping! He tried to beat her up in the ring again, but then it was obvious that she could see and Mysterio whooped him some more! Both: Kehehehehehehehehehehehehe Spaulding: The next bout was one where we needed our "Lie, Cheat and Steal" poster! Teddy: We were really rooting for Eddie Guerrero, because his nephew and partner, Chavo Guerrero, has been acting like a baby lately, complaining that Eddie gets the audience to shout his name, but they never shout "Chavo!" Spaulding: No fair thinking it could be that Eddie is more charismatic! Teddy (with utter shock): Charismatic?! Gooooooooooood word! Both: Kehehehehehehehehehehehehe Teddy: Both of them openly admit to lying, cheating and stealing to win their bouts, but that night, Eddie fought without cheating, and whooped his nephew to a bloody pulp! Spaulding: He also beat up his brother, Chavo's Dad, too, since he was trying to help his son cheat, AND Eddie's brother helped his son beat up Eddie the week before on Smackdown! Teddy: Eddie tried to keep the peace in his family, but when that became impossible, he whooped his nephew quite well! Spaulding: I thought you were gonna say, "real good!" Both: Kehehehehehehehehehehehehe Teddy: The next bout was so good, it was hard to believe it wasn't the main bout! Spaulding: For that bout we needed our new sign for Brock--"You tapped out!" Teddy: Brock is one of the guys who used to be a good guy and is now a bad guy! Spaulding: "Tapping out" is when your opponent has you in a hold that's so painful you tap your hand to the floor several times, which means you give up. Teddy: Brock had spent several years as a champion, who never ever tapped out, until last autumn,... Spaulding: ...it was against Kurt Angle, and he tapped out! Teddy: Ends up that he hates it when he is reminded of tapping out, so the audience chants it now, AND he's tapped out a couple of more times since! Both: Kehehehehehehehehehehehehe Spaulding: Right before we started watching Ras'lin... Teddy: ...yes, we didn't ALWAYS watch Ras'lin! Hard to believe, huh? Both: Kehehehehehehehehehehehehe Spaulding: ...there was this rass'ler named Hardcore Holly, but he was taken out of action when Brock broke his neck! Teddy: We hate to admit knowing this... Spaulding: ...we prefer Teddy Bear World Rass'lin, which is equal parts reality and pretend... Teddy: ...but sometimes it is necessary to explain which parts are real and which are pretend... Spaulding: ...so kids know that it's beary hard to do what the rass'lers do without getting hurt... Teddy: ...so the kids don't try to do the same moves and really get hurt... Spaulding: ...and, even though the Rass'lers are trained to do what they do.... Teddy: ...it's still dangerous to do what they do, even for them... Spaulding: ...to the point that a few years ago, doing a stunt, one of the Rass'lers was killed, and that's for real,... Teddy: ...not Teddy Bear world real, but peoples' world real! Spaulding: But all that to say that just before we started watching Rass'lin, Brock Lesner and Hardcore Holly had a match... Teddy: ...and Hardcore Holly really did get his neck broken by Brock! Spaulding: It was a stunt gone wrong, and, in Peoples' World, Brock didn't mean to do it! Teddy: And, although obviously, it's beary bad to have your neck broken, Hardcore wasn't paralysed... Spaulding: ...neither was Chris Benoit's when his neck was really broken either, although that's not part of this story... Teddy: ...just want everyone reading this to know that, if you have bones in your body... Spaulding:...we don't so don't have to worry about anything worse then a seam getting ripped Teddy: ...which is beary scary if you're a stuffy... Spaulding: ...that you SHOULD NOT try those moves on your own! Teddy: Anyway, back to Teddy Bear World s'plaining of what we saw! Spaulding: Hardcore Holly wanted revenge so The Royal Rumble was when he got to fight against Brock! Teddy: Brock's been getting surprise attacks from Holly for a few weeks by the time The Royal Rumble came along, so he was a'scared of Hardcore, although he'd never admit that! Spaulding: We don't know much about Holly other then having seen the footage of when he did break his neck... Teddy: ...which was yucky... Spaulding: ...and his ambushes on Brock, so we do like him! Both: Kehehehehehehehehehehehehe Teddy: It was a great fight, and we saw Holly getting close to winning a couple of times, and Brock F5ing... Spaulding: ...Brock tosses his opponent over his shoulders, spins him quickly, lets go, which makes the opponent twirl parrarel from the floor, before falling, beary hard, onto the floor! Teddy: Hardcore is only six foot tall, 235 pounds, which is small for a Rass'ler, kinda, but Brock has done his F5 on The Big Show too! Spaulding: The Big Show is five feet tall 700 pounds! (Mommy explanation: Because the kids have trouble conceiving of people being taller then two feet tall, although their Mommy and Daddy are two inches away from six feet tall, either side, that, although announcers keep saying, "The Big Show is seven feet tall, five hundred pounds," they keep hearing "five feet tall, 700 pounds!" We just go along with it now, since they can't even hear the difference, if we try to correct them.) Teddy: We had a little accident that stopped us from seeing the end of the match! Spaulding: We all had our NiHis on the edge of the helioplaneship boxcar, but Axlerod got an itch that needed scratching on the bottom of his back paw. Teddy: He has short legs, so he can't reach his back paw to scratch, and asks us to scratch for him. Spaulding: The helioplaneship boxcar is magical! If peoples see it, it looks like a box just big enough for me, with Teddy on my lap, and elbow high, but when peoples aren't looking, we all fit in, along with all we need for any particular trip. Teddy: For that trip, we just had the cap and scarf that Mommy was hoping we could give The Big Show... Spaulding: All 18 of our posters, and extra napkins to clean up with after we ate. Teddy: We're not quite sure, who caused the accident, but Spaulding pulled Axlerod's back paw up for me to scratch, and when I scratched... Spaulding: ...it tickled Axlerod, so he jumped... Teddy: ...With Axlerod being the biggest stuffy in our family, he also kicked and ran into me.... Spaulding: ...then Teddy ran into me, and I ran into someone else....and, well, ... Teddy: ...we don't know who exactly did it, but there was a chain reaction with every single soft drink being knocked over... Spaulding: ...some inside our vehicle and some outside! Teddy: We were glad we were in the back above empty seats, or we might have had more problems! Spaulding: Once again, the stuffed doggies saved the day, by licking up the mess! Teddy: We helped, but I wouldn't lick under Axlerod's paw! Spaulding: That's all right, Dee did! She's a good stuffed doggy! Both: Kehehehehehehehehehehehehe Teddy: We looked up, when we heard the ref start the three count, and Brock won, but we don't know if he cheated! Spaulding: Since he became a bad guy, he cheats more then the Guerrero's ever did! Both: Kehehehehehehehehehehehehe Spaulding: We do occasionally, watch RAW, but, we chose to go out and dry out our vehicle... Teddy: ...by flying it upside down... Spaulding:...when Triple H and Shawn Micheals fought, but we heard the crowd's reaction when Triple H won. Teddy: Finally, the title match started--The Royal Rumble! Spaulding: Paul Heyman hates Chris Benoit, because Chris beat up Brock, the keystone to Paul Heyman's concept of Smackdown! , Paul made Chris the first player for the The Royal Rumble! Teddy: The Royal Rumble is 30 guys, 15 from Smackdown! and 15 from Raw, fighting in one ring to find out who gets to fight against the champion at Wrestlemania, the biggest event of the Rass'lin year! Spaulding: It starts with two Rass'lers, and adds another every 90 seconds! Teddy: You stay in the match, until you are knocked out of the ring with both feet hitting the floor outside of the ring! Spaulding: Quite often Rass'lers get pushed over the ropes, but they hang onto the rope and neither foot hits the floor! Teddy: It was so exciting, we all had our elbows leaning up against the edge of our vehicle holding up our "Toothless Aggression" poster to root for Chris Benoit, and it felt like we were almost pulled right down into the match! Spaulding: Almost! Both: Kehehehehehehehehehehehehe Teddy: Bodies were flying left and right! Spaulding: At one point Brock joined the group and F5ed Goldberg right out of the ring! Teddy: Brock is the champion, so he wasn't supposed to be involved! Spaulding: Goldberg is on RAW and Brock is on Smackdown!, so that simply had no reason to happen! Teddy: Goldberg now wants Brock's blood! Spaulding: And the rest of him too! Both: Kehehehehehehehehehehehehe Teddy: The match took 62 minutes and the last opponent knocked out of the ring was The Big Show, BUT... Both: ...CHRIS BENOIT WON!!! Both: Kehehehehehehehehehehehehe Teddy: We were so beary happy for him, until later this last week he announced that he wanted to have his match against Triple H! Spaulding (so upset that he's almost sputtering): He LEFT Smackdown! Teddy (shaking with frustration): Now what will we do? ::::::::::::::::Mommy speaks to them quietly. They calm down and smile.:::::::::::::::::::: Spaulding: That Mommy is soooooooo smart! Teddy (nodding in agreement): On Friday nights, when nothing else good is on TV, they have a show called "The Bottom Line" that we've started watching. Spaulding: It recaps what happened on RAW, so we don't need the longer version, but can keep up with who's doing what over there. Teddy: Mommy says we can watch that, which will help us figure out what's up with Nick Foley too! Spaulding: He seemed to have chickened out on a match a few weeks ago, and the guy he was supposed to fight has been calling him a chicken and taunting him to come back ever since! Teddy: He finally showed up... Spaulding: ...when Stone Cold Steve Austin insisted he come... Teddy: ...and seemed willing to fight the creep again, but, since it was during The Royal Rumble!, it wasn't a good night for that. We're looking forward to find out what's happening with him! Spaulding: Axlerod thinks that Goldberg might come to Smackdown! soon too! Both: Kehehehehehehehehehehehehe Teddy: The good thing about going in our helioplaneship boxcar is how quickly we could leave the place! Spaulding: By the time the first people leaving got to their cars, we had already left, stopped by our favorite hotdog stand for a pick up, and flew home! Teddy: With the magical time thingy, Mommy and Daddy didn't even know we were gone! Spaulding: We did save them a few Teddy Bear hotdogs, although they don't taste them too well! Teddy: Well, now that we've caught up on our journal, we got to get ready for the Super Bowl this evening! Spaulding: We're remembering it's just a game... Teddy: ...which is beary easy since the Eagles aren't in it.... Both: Kehehehehehehehehehehehehe Spaulding: ...but the commericials are a great part and we saw a preview of one with Bears in it! Teddy: That's gotta be the best one! Spaulding: So, time to go.... Teddy: Soooooooo, until next time...