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Thursday, April 22, 2010

The Impasse

As Mommy admitted in public, she gave most of us a b-a-t-h. Some things are hard to forgive, but we've come up with a fair plan. We're going to tell everyone Mommy's deepest, darkest secrets in public. So grab a cup of coffee and enjoy the expose'.

-Mommy cries when she listens to the end of The 1812 Overture, and she knows it's not an American composition.


- Mommy belches. (No, not burps – belches!)


- The Philadelphia International Airport calls us, on occasion, to ask us to keep the noise down. We have to wake Mommy up to stop snoring.


- Mommy squeezes too hard, sometimes, when she hugs us.


- Mommy has killed an air plant – twice!


- Mommy is too scared to watch The Wizard of Oz. (This is a true scandal, since that means we cannot watch it.)


- Mommy doesn't like Elvis, Gone with the Wind, Titanic, or liver.


- Mommy likes Buffy, the Vampire Slayer and Angel. (Yes, they were beary good TV shows, but we've rented the entire series, twice – at least – and Mommy still misses Buffy and her friends.)


- Mommy couldn't garden beary well, until the Garden Gals took over for her.


- Mommy has been seen eating raw batter for muffins. (We should be eating it!)


- Mommy has big feet.


This didn't make us feel better, so if there is anything else you can think of that you would like to know about Mommy….


Mommy Note: Don't ask. I think this is more than fair, considering people need to take a bath more than once a year.

5 comments:

Marlowe said...

I don't mind the hugging too hard part. I'm rather smushable though!

DILLY said...

MWEAH!
Good baths!
Good bears!
Bob not hav bath for 2 yeers.
Bob stink.

Hav bath toys????
Shud hav bath toys!

Bob giv Dilly luvly lobster for play in bath! Come see!

¬"

The Teddy Bear Family said...

We like a good hard hug, but wanted to make Mommy feel as guilty as possible. It only seems fair!

The Teddy Bear Family said...

Argh! Your Mommy puts you IN water? Argggghhhhhhhhhh!!! It's bad enough that Mommy uses Teddy Bear Cleaner solution with a sponge b-a-t-h-! The horrors!

Found art blog said...

Think yourself lucky. My owner put me in Washing Machine with smelly underwear!!! YUKK!!!